The Legend and The Law Do a Mock Draft Recap Part 2

All Star Weekend ended up being a smashing success. At least that's what the media is saying.

My opinion? Definitely better than before, but still not great. However, in the context of the other major professional sports, the NHL is doing something right.

Frankly, I don't think they could have gotten any luckier than being pitted against this years Pro Bowl, one of the worst sports events I've ever seen in my entire life. And I watched a total of maybe 7 minutes of it.

And despite the nearly universal mockery, I feel like The Guardian Project has minimal downside, and large upside.

All together it was a good weekend for the NHL, but I know what you all are really wondering, was it a better weekend for The Legend or The Law?

Well the post today is going to include my All-Star Breakdown as well as a conclusion to The Legend and The Law do a mock draft.

NHL All-Star Skills Competition

Fastest Skater

They started off this year's skills competition with the fastest skater race and added two wrinkles to it, pitting defenseman skating backwards, and goalies skating against each other.


The Legend's Take

If they really wanted to add a cool wrinkle to it, they need to do a relay race. The classic mano-a-mano race is normally pretty good, but the D skating backwards was just goofy. Next year they should add a 3 man relay race. They could even keep the goalies or the backwards skating as a part of that


The Legend and The Law Results

Kris Letang beat Duncan Keith in the backwards contest and Cam Ward beat Tim Thomas in the goalie race, though conspiracy theorists speculate he may have taken a dive for the hometown guy, giving me two points.

via sbnation via 30fps

Unfortunately, St. Louis beat Ryan Kesler and Mike Green is fatter than...well...someone really fat, and he got destroyed by Steven Stamkos.

The rookies ended up being the highlight of the race, which didn't mean much to us.

The Legend - 2
The Law - 2

Breakaway Challenge

Now I've started to here some grumblings about this event. And read one article that said it needs to be scrapped because the players obviously look outside of their comfort zone. My response to that is simple...PFFFTTTT.

Frankly the only problem I have with the event is the embarrassment I feel for the weak moves the players attempt. You can search youtube and find hundreds of moves better than what they tried, and many of them done by kids under the age of 12.

I mean there's a video on there by Stamkos, from 2008!, where he talks about some of the moves that might be attempted in the competition that year, some of which were still better than what they did.

The Legend's Take

2 things need to be amended about the Breakaway contest.

First, they need to find a way to make the goalies try, without trying too hard. When the goalies don’t care a lot of great shootout moves, like the Forsberg move, end up completely ineffective. But obviously if they are going full boar, they may interrupt a move in progress.

I think the best way to do it would be to bring in a celebrity goalie for the competition, or a retired player if the host franchise has someone appropriate that fits the bill. I don't think the amateur goalies they had two years ago worked, but a celebrity would be perfect both from a promotions stand point and because they would be the perfect mix of effort vs inability.

And second, they need to bring in 2 amateur players, 1 for each team. Hold a contest on youtube where the winner gets to participate. If 13 year-olds are making better shoot-out moves than the pros, then why not pit them against them. I guarantee it would be a huge hit.


The Legend and The Law Results

Ovechkin won but didn’t deserve it. The best was Corey Perry, but he finished near the end. Voting for this competition sucked.

Oh well, it was an easy 8 points for me.

The Legend – 10

The Law - 2

Shooting Accuracy

A confused Dustin Byfuglien did not realize the targets

were sponsored by McDonald's not made by them

This was actually one of the highlight events for me. I liked the twist of making it a race, though it diminished the classic 4-4 milestone, and the best moment of the weekend was the do-over.

For those that missed it teammates Jonathan Toews and Patrick Sharp were pitted against each other, but when the whistle blew Toews didn’t start shooting. In fact it wasn’t until Sharp was a couple targets in that Toews realized they had started. When Sharp polished him off, JT had the same look on his face that any one of us would have had in the situation, the “this sucks, this isn’t fair, this sucks” look.

Then the NHL stepped in and did the smartest thing they could have done. They decided on a do-over. Screw the rules, screw it’s his own fault, on the weekend they decided to have the schoolyard draft, they decided to play by schoolyard law. If something unfair happens, do it over. They proved they were all-in with this concept. Kudos.

The Legend's Take

This is one of the cooler events as the carnage that results from a hit is normally pretty cool and when a player gets on a role the crowd always lets out a collective “wow” sigh. There’s only two ways to improve the event.

1. Bring back the camera in the targets. I’m not sure why they didn’t have it this year, but it’s always cool seeing the puck come at you on TV and destroying expensive equipment. Plus with 3D TV’s becoming popular can you imagine what that would look like?

2. Would involve completely blowing up the competition, which I don’t think is necessary. But if they wanted to revamp it for some reason I would change it to a shooting gallery of sorts (think a sharpshooter shooting bottles of a fence post). Instead of the four corners of the net, they could line up targets, or water bottles on the crossbar or along the boards. This might work better as an add-on to the Skill Challenge Relay, but I think it would be exciting to watch a player mowing down targets like that.

The Legend and The Law Results

Kesler beat Richards, Nash beat Kessel and Daniel Sedin beat Havlat (should have been Sedin vs Sedin).

Meanwhile, Toews beat Sharp in the redo and Kane beat E. Staal.

In the finals D. Sedin helped me pull away by destroying Kane. Chalk another one up for The Legend.

The Legend – 15

The Law – 4

Skills Challenge Relay

Not a bad debut for this event, we’ve seen much worse over the years. The highlight was Toews blowing through the targets to close out his groups run. That and Kris Letang hitting the net with about 10 one-timers, but unable to get them above the barrier (a shock for any of us that have watched him miss high and outside for 3 years). For those that know hockey it was kind of funny watching a defenseman shoot absolutely textbook shots from the point, that were actually hurting him in the contest.

The Legend's Take

The biggest problem with this contest is that in a race, people want to see people racing. Time vs. time is only dramatic when you have clocks ticking down. That would be an interesting twist next year. Have the first group set the standard, and then have the best time running down on the scoreboard for subsequent runs. It might actually be fun watching guys peeking at the clock, or pressing themselves in their individual skills because they know they’re behind

Also, when you’re doing a multiple dimensional competition like the one they did you need to move from station to station quicker. For instance have the first guy do the one timers, then have the guy skate through pylons, towards the next station, then do passing, then have a guy stickhandle to the next part, etc. Having the one timers take almost a minute to complete really dragged.

It’s really an easy fix though. Cut each station in half and do them all twice, same competition but it would be much more intense.

The Legend and The Law Results

I couldn’t figure out a way to split up the points here since every group included rookies and players that were incorrectly drafted by us, so I just chalked up the points won to each of us. Team Lidstrom won the event 5-3, so The Law finally started chipping into my lead.

The Legend – 18

The Law – 9

Hardest Shot

No joke here, I just really wish when his stick broke
it would have snapped up and hit him in the eye.

The hardest shot competition, though not my favorite, is clearly one of the best. The energy in the building when Chara broke his record was palpable, and the showdown between him and Weber was probably one of the better moments of the night.

The Legend's Take The only thing I would want to do to this one is make it a little more exciting outside of the top 2 players. I mean Byfuglien’s shots were awesome, and no one cared because Chara and Weber had already destroyed his numbers.

I think the solution is to break it down into 3 groups, with 4 shooters in each group: the lightweights, middleweights and heavyweights. And you could have the winner from each group, plus a wild card face off in the finals.

How you divide up the groups I’m not certain. But you could build anticipation better this way. Start with the rookies maybe, then you’re snipers who all shoot mid to high nineties, then the defensemen probably, who tend to have the hardest shots.

The Legend and The Law Results

This was a bad event for us. As 3 of the 6 winners, Sharp, Byfuglien and Weber, were on the other guys team, thus disqualified.

The Law had Burns and Stamkos notch points for him, and I avoided the shut-out with Chara’s come from behind victory in the Finals.

The Legend – 20

The Law – 11

Elimination Shoot-out

I think the NHL saw this going better when they decided to implement it this year. I thought the elimination shootout was effective, except of course not enough players scored. I’m not quite sure if there is a fix for that though.

I remember back in the day watching Mario score 3 or 4 times on a goalie during the skills competition. I just think the goalies have gotten too good these days.

The Legend's Take I think one change that needs to be made, is you should make sure players face a different goalie in each round. Subban shooting on Fleury twice was just stupid.

One interesting way they could switch this up is have each guy get 3 pucks. And they have to take 3 back-to-back-to-back breakaways on all 3 goalies. Then like the home-run derby they eliminate the field by half or a third or whatever, and do that every round.

I’ll admit that’s not a great idea, but I feel like the event was very anti-climatic because nobody scored, and this is the only way I could think to switch it up.

The Legend and The Law Results

This was The Law’s last chance for a big come back. The 1^st round was very even with 6 guys on each team scoring. Unfortunately, 3 of my goals were ineligible (Subban, Couture, and Karlsson) and only 2 of his were (Buff and Shattenkirk).

In the 2^nd round only Perry and St. Louis scored. 2 points for each of us.

The Law entered the 3^rd round of the shootout down by 8 points. 3 goals by St. Louis and non by Perry would pull out a victory. But alas it was not in the cards. Perry scores and Marty does not. Game.

Skills Competition Results

The Legend – 28

The Law – 17

Draft Results

The Legend - 15

The Law - 11

Weekend Total

The Legend - 43

The Law - 28

As you can tell The Law was behind going into the All-Star Game, but considering how everyone was calling for a Lidstrom blowout, and I weighted the game on Sunday heavier than the previous two days, he certainly had a chance for a come-back. Let's see the results.

THE LEGEND AND THE LAW DO A MOCK DRAFT RESULTS

Long story short I ended up giving 2 points for goals, 1 point for assists, and scored only the players we correctly drafted on Friday. Which means Shea Weber's 4 assists for Lidstrom's team went unaccounted for.

I also gave The Law 5 bonus points for Patrick Sharp being the MVP, despite being on Team Staal. It just felt right considering how early he drafted him. Touche.

The Legend's team ended up scoring 8 goals and 14 assists for a total of 30 points. Which gave them a total on the weekend of 73 points.

With the 5 bonus points for MVP The Law had 40 points to make up on Sunday. He managed to score 9 goals but only had 13 assists for a total of 31 points. Narrowly losing to The Legend by the final score 73-64.

Eat it.

It was a fun weekend. The NHL had some success with their new format, and I kicked The Law's ass at a hockey related game. A good time was had by all.

Now let's play some real hockey.

The Legend and The Law Do a Mock Draft Recap Part 1

The Law and I decided to have a contest for the NHL All-Star Game starting with a mock draft completed earlier this week. Just as the weekend is broken up into three days, our competition will have three different rounds.

Round 1 is the Fantasy Draft which went on last night.

Round 2 is the Skills Competition.

Round 3, of course, is the game itself.

Round 1 Scoring rules

There are 3 ways to score on Day 1.

- Each team will receive 2 points for drafting a player in the same round he ended up getting drafted in. For instance I correctly picked that Cam Ward would go in the first round to Team Staal which means 2 points for me.

- Each team will receive 1 point for drafting a player +/- 1 round he ended up getting drafted in. For instance The Law predicted that Team Lidstrom would take Keith Yandle in the 11^th round, and he took him in the 12^th: 1 pt to him. This ended up being a good way to show how accurately we assessed the value of the players.

- Finally, bonus points will be added or subtracted depending on the intangibles predicted. This scoring will make more sense at the end.

Results of Round 1

First I need to start by saying this. Out of 18 draft picks The Law and I correctly chose 14 players for each of our teams. We each got all 3 goalies correct, 3 out of the 5 defensemen and 8 out of 10 forwards. That is ridiculous.

With all the mock drafts posted across the internet I guarantee there isn’t an “expert” out there that did better. And if it wasn’t for The Law’s stupid aversion to the Sedin twins and Shea Weber, we could have done even better.

Here is the breakdown of our draft vs. the actual draft

Rd	Team Staal	The Legend as Team Staal	Team Lidstrom	The Law as Team Lidstrom
1	Cam Ward	Cam Ward	Steven Stamkos	Steven Stamkos
2	Alex Ovechkin	Alex Ovechkin	Duncan Keith	Jonathan Toews
3	Daniel Sedin	Daniel Sedin	Henrik Sedin	Patrick Sharp
4	Zdeno Chara	Henrik Sedin	Shea Weber	Marc-Andre Fleury
5	Rick Nash	Dustin Byfuglien	Tim Thomas	Tim Thomas
6	Henrik Lundquist	Kris Letang	Daniel Briere	Daniel Boyle
7	Marc Staal	Henrik Lundquist	Dustin Byfuglien	Brent Burns
8	Patrick Sharp	Claude Giroux	Jonathan Toews	Brad Richards
9	Daniel Boyle	Carey Price	Marc-Andre Fleury	Daniel Briere
10	Carey Price	Corey Perry	Jonas Hiller	Jonas Hiller
11	Jeff Skinner	Zdeno Chara	Brad Richards	Keith Yandle
12	Kris Letang	Shea Weber	Keith Yandle	Anze Kopitar
13	Claude Giroux	Matt Duchene	Brent Burns	Duncan Keith
14	Erik Karlsson	Marc Staal	Martin Havlat	Martin Havlat
15	Corey Perry	Rick Nash	Anze Kopitar	Erik Karlsson
16	Patrick Elias	Jeff Skinner	Matt Duchene	Loui Ericksson
17	David Backes	David Backes	Loui Eriksson	Patrick Elias
18	Paul Statsny	Paul Statsny	Phil Kessel	Phil Kessel

As you see we did remarkably well. But let’s get to the scoring.

2-point round

The Legend correctly predicted that Team Staal would draft Cam Ward, Alex Ovechkin and Daniel Sedin 1, 2, and 3. Very nicely done. He also predicted that David Backes and Paul Statsny would go to Team Staal with the last 2 picks.

The Law correctly took Steven Stamkos first for Team Lidstrom. He got Jonas Hiller with the last goalie selection, Phil Kessel with the last pick overall and in the middle of the draft was able to nail Tim Thomas and Martin Havlat.

Results

10 points each: a draw.

While The Legend was able to navigate the beginning and end of the draft successfully, The Law benefited from having 2^nd choice when it came to rounds 10 and 18. Nevertheless it was The Law correctly grabbing Tim Thomas and Martin Havlat in the middle of the draft that evened this round out.

1-point round

The Legend picked Henrik Sedin in Rd. 4 when The Law easily could have gained an extra point, and accurately grabbed his goaltenders in the middle rounds.

The Law was able to grab Keith Yandle in the middle and Loui Ericksson in the late rounds to show his acumen.

Results

3-2 The Legend.

The Legend took advantage of his goalies in this round, as well as The Law’s mistake in passing over Henrik Sedin, to take a lead overall.

Bonus Points

The Legend gets a bonus point for his assessment of Shea Weber. He remarked as he drafted him, just after his selection of Zdeno Chara, that the pick would lock up the Hardest Shot competition. Sure enough when Team Staal pulled the trigger on Chara in round 4 of the real draft Team Lidstrom responded with Weber for the same reason.

He also gets a point for correctly predicting Eric Staal’s dig of his brother when he selected Henrik Lundquist. Though the real Staal did not go to the extreme The Legend wrote of in his mock draft, his choice to delay after saying “from the NY Rangers…” before announcing Henrik Lundquist’s name showed the perverse pleasure The Legend know would come out.

Finally, The Legend gets another bonus point for correctly predicting the first 3 picks by Team Staal. It wasn’t just the Cam Ward pick, which had been rumored for awhile, but knowing that Staal would go after Mike Green’s teammate 2^nd and then pick Daniel over Henrik took a lot of knowledge and a little bit of luck.

The Law gets a bonus point for, and it hurts me to say this, correctly predicting the large number of Blackhawks that would end up on Lidstrom’s team, including one being taken in the 2^nd round.

However, there were some big mistakes by both teams and points have to be deducted as well.

The Legend was certain Eric Staal would not draft his brother. While there was the light hearted ribbing, at the end of the day, Marc is playing with his brother.

The Law took Toews as Lidstrom’s 2^nd pick. Meanwhile, he ended up being drafted 16^th overall, after both of his Chicago teammates.

He also chose to pass on Henrik Sedin, choosing instead to take Patrick Sharp. This is the kind of error we just can’t allow pass. Sorry Law.

Results

The Legend – 2

The Law – -1

Total – Round 1

15-11 The Legend takes the early lead on The Law

As for Round 2 and Round 3, only players correctly drafted by The Legend and The Law will be eligible for scoring. Which means that anything Dan Boyle, Erick Karlsson, Patrick Elias and Patrick Sharp do for Team Staal won’t count for The Legend and anything Dustin Byfuglien, Shea Weber, Henrik Sedin and Matt Duchene do for Team Lidstrom won’t help The Law.

However, before we wrap this up we must announce an additional penalty to The Legend’s squad. Because of his certainty that Marc Staal would not be drafted by his brother Eric we are going to declare Marc ineligible for The Legend’s team for the rest of the weekend. Which means The Law, though behind, has an extra player in play for Rounds 2 and 3.

Enjoy the skills competition tonight and we’ll see you all back here tomorrow for the results.

The Legend and The Law Do a Mock Draft

So I let The Law pick which team he wanted to represent, he chose Team Lidstrom because according to him “Staal’s team sucked”. Whatever.

With all the rumor’s going around about Staal’s first overall pick that made my choice easy.

Staal’s Pick: Cam Ward

Lidstrom: “Wow Legend, goalie first overall, do you want that pick back?”

Staal: Easy there, big boy. We all know that’s who Staal is drafting first overall, well anyone that actually pays attention to the league at least.

Lidstrom: “Is that a dig at me? I’m sorry I’m in law school and not unemployed, I don’t have time to prepare for our fake mock draft of an exhibition draft by reading various mock drafts of a fake draft. I’m taking Stamkos for marty because he told me he’d cry if I didn’t”

Lidstrom’s Pick: Steven Stamkos

Staal: You do realize they don’t have Power Plays in All-Star games right? I’m confused is you’re goal to draft the smallest team in All Star history? I’m making my first Skills competition pick. He’s not having a great year, but he’s the reigning breakaway champion and Mike Green’s gal pal

Staal’s Pick: Alex Ovechkin

I bet that's not the first time he's done that for Malkin

Lidstrom’s Pick:Jonathan Towes

Lidstrom: “I’m drafting centers, since I’m starting with two wingers, and pretty good ones at that.”

Staal: Well I’m drafting the best players out there, and I don’t know how this guy has fallen this far, but I’m taking

Staal’s Pick: Daniel Sedin

Staal: and I’ll put him with Kesler since I’m sure you’re going to take

Lidstrom’s Pick: Patrick Sharp

Staal: WHAT! Patrick Sharp! You have a chance to split up the Sedin Twins for the first time since the womb, and you take Patrick Fricken’ Sharp.

Ok seriously Pat. Sidebar.

(Legend: You are supposed to be drafting as Nicklas Lidstrom. You’ve drafted two Chicago Blackhawks and have a third on your team as a captain, dude at least play along.

Law: “I play for keeps”.

Legend: I hate you)

Staal: Fine I’m not letting you get away with that one. I’m taking

Staal’s Pick: Henrik Sedin

Staal: And I’m going to kill you with my Vancuver wizardry.

Lidstrom: “man back-to-back. You hit the Swedes harder than Tiger Woods. I’ll take the Flower”

Lidstrom’s Pick: Marc-Andre Fleury

Lidstrom: “He’s a starter, and the only Stanley Cup champion in goal out there”

Staal: On that note I’m going to crack the defenseman seal and get

Staal’s Pick: Dustin Byfuglien

Staal: I only wish that his partner from the Thrashers was…

Lidstrom: “SCREW YOU”

Staal: going to be there as well. Oops, did you want him? My bad.

Lidstrom’s Pick: Tim Thomas

Staal: That’s a nice pick. He’ll be fun during the skills competition, I hope they mic him up.

Staal’s Pick: Kris Letang

Staal: I’m going big or going home with offensive defenseman. Although Tanger can play in his own end, all three of my D so far are practically forwards.

Lidstrom: “yeah, yeah. Before you snap up all those guys I’ll take the one left on the board that plays that way”

Lidstrom’s Pick: Dan Boyle

Staal: Nice pick-up. I probably should have taken him before Letang, but I was thinking about the Elimination Shoot-out with Kris. And with his skating he might just excel in an exhibition game. Since we’re on a defensive kick I’m going to go with the guy that has been a big part of the defensive success for the Rangers this year (looks directly at Marc Staal)…

Staal’s Pick: Henrik Lundquist.

Lidstrom: “That was cold dude”

Staal: Had to be done.

Lidstrom’s Pick: Brent Burns

Staal: I’m sorry who?

Lidstrom: “What do you meant who? He’s one of the top scoring defensemen in the league.”

Staal: It’s the All-Star Game. They’re ALL among the top scoring defensemen in the league.

Lidstrom: “Whatever, I’m looking for studs”

(Legend: Yeah I bet that’s what they called you in high school, before you became The Law. Pat “the stud finder” Corcoran)

Pat "the stud finder" Corcoran's first find

Staal’s Pick: Claude Giroux

Staal: He’s having a monster year, and I feel like he’s the type that might just snipe 2 or 3 without even thinking about it.

Lidstrom: “Speaking of good years, I don’t know how he’s fallen this far but I’ll take

Lidstrom’s Pick: Brad Richards

Staal: We have to take our goalie by the 10^th round and I have a strategy here. I’m taking the one who probably has had the best season of any goalie so far.

Staal’s Pick: Carey Price

Lidstrom: “speaking of studs”

Staal: He is quite a pretty man

Lidstrom: “I was talking about him taking it in…”

Staal: Alright then, remember this is a family blog just make you’re pick

Lidstrom: “In the spirit of people taking it from behind I’ll take”

Lidstrom’s Pick: Daniel Briere

Staal: …from behind

Lidstrom: “ha…ha”

Staal: That leaves me to draft the guy I had my eye on in this round

Staal’s Pick: Corey Perry

Staal: Who will inevitably score on…

Lidstrom’s Pick: Jonas Hiller

Lidstrom: “Oh you’re funny”

Staal: Thank you, thank you, I’ll be here all week. Alright, I’m going to actually need some defensemen that play defense on my team though, so I’m going to take

Staal’s Pick: Zdeno Chara

Lidstrom: “I can’t believe he’s fallen this far but I’m taking”

Lidstrom’s Pick: Keith Yandle

(Legend: He’s fallen that far The Law because he was added to the team yesterday, but then again you’re just mopping up all the injury replacements aren’t you?)

Staal: I got an easy pick here. I’m wrapping up the Slap Shot competition this year by taking

Staal’s Pick: Shea Weber

Lidstrom: “yeah with Chara and Weber, I might as well not even put anyone out there”

Staal: Not without a lot of protection I wouldn’t

Lidstrom’s Pick: Anze Kopitar

Staal: That leave me with one of two players I want, and I gotta go with the one that never should have fallen this far and is built for an open ice game

Staal’s Pick: Matt Duchene

Lidstrom: “Not a bad choice, for me to poop on”

Staal: Well that’s just uncalled for

Lidstrom: “I’m going to finish off my raping of the Chicago Blackhawks by drafting

Staal: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Lidstrom’s Pick: Duncan Keith

Staal: Sidebar

(whisperwhisperwhisper)

Staal: Shucks, oh…well…I guess…I’ll…just…have…to…draft…my…brother…marc…then.

Staal’s Pick: Marc Staal

Staal: Hey Pat, what do you think about a trade?

Lidstrom: “A trade?”

Staal: A trade.

Lidstrom: “What were you thinking for a trade?”

Staal: A trade.

Lidstrom: “A trade?”

Staal: How about Claude Giroux and Marc Staal for Daniel Briere and Duncan Keith?

Lidstrom: “Sounds good to me”

(Marc Staal, not even having reached the stage yet stands there stunned)

Staal: Done. (shrugs shoulders at brother)

(in game break)

Trade review

So what were your thoughts about that trade?

Staal: Well, frankly I wanted Duncan Keith, and I wasn’t so

interested in either of the last two defensemen on the board.

I thought Pat should get a Swede on Lidstrom’s team, even

though he seemed to have an unhealthy aversion to them.

And anytime I could hurt my brother, while at the same

time messing with two Flyers, I figured why the heck not?

Lidstrom: “I admit my love affair with CHI guys was getting

a little bit ridiculous, plus I realized why not let

Keith knock one of them out during the game.”

(back to the draft)

Lidstrom’s Pick: Martin Havlat

Staal: Seriously man, when you’re not drafting Blackhawks players, you’re drafting former Blackhawk players. I’m surprised you didn’t try drafting Cristobal Huet.

Lidstrom: “I would of, but I wasn’t sure how the transfer agreement with Fribourg-Gotteron worked”

Staal: I hate you. I’m taking the last “I can’t believe he fell this far guy”

Staal’s Pick: Rick Nash

Lidstrom: “I will take Loui Ericksson”

Staal: Dude you have to draft Karlsson, it’s the 15^th round

Lidstrom: “I don’t want Karlsson he’s like -17”

Staal: He’s the last defenseman, you have to take him, and besides he’s Swedish, you’re Swedish, Lidstrom is going to have some Swedish players on his team.

Lidstrom’s Pick: Erik Karlsson

Staal: I’ll be nice and leave Erickson for you…

Lidstrom: “I am not Swedish…”

Staal: …because I can’t leave my boy hanging any longer…

Lidstrom: “…I have never been nor will I be Swedish…”

The Staal’s Pick: Jeff Skinner

Lidstrom: “…or be with a swede”

Staal: Ok then.

Lidstrom: “…mmmm.... swedish fish”

Lidstrom’s Pick: Loui Ericksson

Staal’s Pick: David Backes

Lidstrom: “Ass. I wanted him, oh well that just leaves me with two to pick from. Pretty much a toss up here, I’ll take

Lidstrom’s Pick: Patrick Elias

Lidstrom: “Man you know what I should have said before instead of the Tiger joke…Hey man what is Jasper Parnevik picking your team?”

Staal: Is he dead? Cause that’s not funny dude.

Lidstrom: “You’re thinking of Payne Stewart”

Staal: I meant Elias.

Lidstrom: “ouch”

God, why couldn't you have taken him instead?

Staal: Alright that leaves me with Phil Kessel. Wait, that’s not enough players. (as of our mock draft the NHL had not yet named the last injury replacement player for the game) Screw it I’m gonna draft…

Staal’s Pick: ________

over…

Lidstrom’s Pick: Phil Kessel

Lidstrom: “You can’t do that”

Staal: Just did. Enjoy your Maple Leaf, I’m taking nothing over him. Talk about Mr. Irrelevant.

WE'RE BAAAAACK

So I can’t even begin to tell you how excited I am for the NHL All-Star Game Fantasy Draft.

This would be my face the whole time if I was at the Draft.

Screw the game, the draft Friday night is going to be the main event.

There are already theories abound about the draft. Will Eric Staal intentionally not draft his brother just to make him sit there and stew? Are the captains going to draft their teammates? Countrymen? Friends? Are they going to pass over rivals? Are they going to try to snipe the players they know the other guy wants to draft?

There’s even talk of a collusion strategy where some of the highest scoring players don’t get drafted until the late rounds, because as some put it “they probably never got picked last in anything." You couldn't make that up.

I’m not going to pretend to know what’s going to happen at the draft, but I assure you something fun will.

For my glorious return to the blog I figured a two-part post was best. Up first are the odds for what I think might happen at the All-Star Draft on Friday. Part II is The Legend and The Law mock draft for Friday night, which I will post on Friday morning.

Betting odds on 2011 NHL ALL-STAR DRAFT

(remember all listed odds are for entertainment purposes only, gambling is not only illegal but really, really hard.)

1:2 Eric Staal does something to embarrass his brother

2:1 The Sedin twins switch places or fake being the other one if they get drafted separately

1:1 Someone gets drafted without the use of their name. i.e. “we’ll take the tall guy in the back”

10:1 Someone is traded during the draft for an inanimate object, such as equipment or food

500:1 Stone Cold Steve Austin’s intro music blasts halfway through the draft and Sidney Crosby comes tearing down the stage grabs the mic and screams “You jibroni’s didn’t think a little concussion was going to keep me out of the draft did you? Well I’m in the draft now, because Sid the Kid Said So!”

I would literally kill to see this

1:2 Then Max Talbot throws him two beers which Sid will crack on stage.

100:1 Jeremy Roenick shows up wearing a feather boa and announces his inclusion in the draft. “woooo”

150:1 Gary Bettman shows up in Paul Bearer make-up and announces that Kesler and Green turn heel on Eric Staal and join Team Lidstrom.

Which do you like better Paul Bettman or Gary Bearer?

(man these predictions really took a WWE turn somewhere in there)

+/-2.5 The number of references during the draft to all the players sticks being thrown into a pile and picking teams that way.

3:1 The odds that none of these things happen and I end up crying myself to sleep after getting trashed watching the draft because the NHL came up with a brilliant idea right on the heels of their good exposure during 24/7 and then failed to capitalize on it.

Everybody panic! It's just like the Titanic but it's full of bears!

So Brett Favre is retired

For now.

How can you not love this man?

I'll tell you, I really do hate all of the coverage about him. For each of the past 3 years I've nearly cried as sports talk was dominated by the original maverick. And I know there are sports people that say "we'll stop talking about him when you stop listening to us talk about him", and I promise you I did. When ESPN talked about him, unless it was Rachael Nichols doing the reporting, I changed the channel.

Honestly though, after everything he has put us through, how can you not love a man that says this "I really believe this is it...I truly, truly believe it's over...But if someone calls November 1, who knows?''

WHAT!?!?!?!?!

Those are mutually exclusive thoughts.

Favre has turned into the Saw franchise. Some people like him, most people despise him, but every year there he is again with a new story, sort of, ready to cash his check and continue his slow destruction of American society.

Moving on.

and speaking of slow destruction...

The Pirates announced, that, well, everyone has been traded.

The good news: The West Virginia Power just got a whole lot better

The bad news: that's what we got for Ian Snell

I'd break it down trade by trade, but frankly I don't have the time, plus you can find that analysis just about anywhere. All I'm going to say is that I'm gonna make sure I buy tickets to a game before the end of the season. kudos buccos.

Before this trade deadling the only coverage the Pirates EVER got on the national scene was about how bad they were, how beautiful PNC Park is, how much a shame it is that such a bad team plays in such a great stadium and the fact that their losing season streak is legally old enough to drive.

Now that they have essentially sold their starting line-up at least the press on them isn't ALL negative. Here's an excerpt from an article on ESPN.com by Jayson Stark with some expert takes on the trades

PRO -- "As they said themselves, it's not like they just broke up the '27 Yankees. They weren't going to compete with those guys anyway. And they were just going to start getting too expensive before they had enough talent to win. With the players they got back, some are more questionable than others. But I still think what they're doing is the right thing."

CON -- "I don't know what they're doing. They're either over-evaluating their return or under-evaluating what they're moving, or just trying to blow every [big] contract off their roster, because I really don't see a lot of upside in just about anyone they got back."

PRO -- "At least they're finally doing it right. Before, they'd always kind of half rebuild. Not this time. I'm not sure where it's leading. But I'll say this. They've definitely got a deep farm system."

CON -- "I've seen fire sales. But this is the biggest fire sale I've ever seen. I don't know how you can do this to your fans. You can't just wipe it out and say, 'Come see us in three years.' ... They've got a lot of players now, but I'm not sure what they've got. They've got plenty of quantity. I'm just not sure of the quality. All I know is, some of these guys, in two years, had better be pretty good players. Or somebody has a lot of explaining to do."

At least the opinions on what the team is doing is .500. That could be a start.


I'll admit it is bittersweet to see Jack Wilson go. My favorite bucco since he came on the scene, the guy really did love Pittsburgh. The Trib has a great article about him not getting to say goodbye to the fans.

Almost makes you want to drive to Cleveland at the end of the month when the Mariners travel there. Almost.


Andrew McCutchen almost hit a baseball all the way to Cleveland (see what I did there, it's called a Segway, and it's really expensive)

Pictured here talking to Jim Bowers,
aka Bowers the master of the water balloon from Little Big League

McCutchen belted 3 home runs Saturday night, the first time a Pirates player did that since 2001 when Aramis Ramriez hit...crap so that means he's gone.

I love that this team didn't hit a home run for like 10 games right around the end of May beginning of June, then Garrett Jones hits 10 in July, McCutchen hits 3 Sat. night, and Delwyn Young and FUCKING Ronny Cedeno each hit one on Sunday.

Yes THE Ronny Cedeno. Nothing like trading for a guy that hits .2oo points better for your team than the last one he played for. Mr. Egg meet Mr. Jack Zduriencik's face.


Finally, the Pens signed some guys. Nothing major, again I'd break it down for you but I missed the boat, and they are all likely WBS deals anyway. Check out thepensblog if you want more info.

Finally, (part two) I want to address this issue before it gets out of hand. If you want timely, go buy a watch. Let's face facts you don't read this blog to get fast breaking news, you read it because you're either a) drunk, b) lost, or c) related to me. Although if you're c) you're probably a) too. And I thank you for it, just don't expect me to be anything but me. I think it was Ghandi that said that, or was it Popeye?


Keep the Faith.

-the legend

In this corner, weighing in at 110 pounds, pushing 89 years of age and the recent recipient of a brand new plastic hip, Joseph "Blue" Polaski.

I swear last season we were just one step away from actually using him as our punter. I promised listeners of the radio show (Monday nights 6-9pm EST www.wdsr.org) that I would post this article about Daniel Sepulveda's written during training camp last season, so you all can see just how right and yet how unbelievably wrong I was at the same time. Let's do it.

Is the Steelers Season Already Over?

Training camp is only two weeks old and already there has been a lot of discussion about the precarious state of this years Steelers team. At many positions they are just one or two injuries away from being crippled. Last year it was Aaron Smith’s torn bicep, the lack of depth behind Willie Parker and Troy Polamalu playing most of the season at less than 100%, that really slowed the team.

As the opening game of the 2008 season approaches questions about the offensive and defensive lines, the linebacker corps, and the defensive backfield dominate conversation. However, one event from early in training camp should be a greater source of concern for fans and isn’t being given enough coverage by the media. No I’m not talking about the shape that Casey Hampton reported to camp in (round), or the condition of Troy Polamalu’s hamstring (still stringy).

As far as I’m concerned on Monday July 28, the Steelers season officially ended, when #9 Daniel Sepulveda tore his ACL for the second time in three seasons.

You’re saying What? Who? The guy that punts the ball? I thought his name was Costaki Gardocki something? In fact, the Steelers 2007 fourth round draft choice Daniel Sepulveda is not only a great player, but would have been an integral part of any success the Steelers were going to have this season.

Sepulveda was one of the most consistent players last year on what was otherwise a very poor special teams unit. It was out of necessity that the Steelers traded a sixth round pick to move up and get this guy, much to the chagrin of people who are smart enough to analyze the draft, but not smart enough to get paid to make actual draft picks themselves.

Granted this was a pick they could have used to select any number of players including, former track star Michael Johnson, defensive back from Arizona, who would have added much needed speed to their secondary, Tyler Thigpen, QB from Coast Carolina, and brother of Yancey Thigpen, who they could have brought out of retirement to form and awesome 1-2 familial punch, or even Daren Stone, defensive back from Maine, who could have lined up opposite Ike Taylor and given us 2 d-backs with Stone hands. (Just missing the cut: Chase Pittman, DE LSU, any pass rusher named Chase sounds good to me. Just need to get a DE on the other side named Tackle Martin, or Sack Rase.)

However, they made the right decision by selecting Sepulveda, it’s just unfortunate that his injury likely derailed their season. What follows are the seven reasons why they can’t possibly win in his absence.

The Replacement

Paul Ernster was drafted in the 7^th round in 2005. He lasted just one full season before being cut by Denver. Denver! Do you realize how easy it is to punt in Denver? It’s like punting on the moon, minus Buzz Aldrin and Neil Armstrong’s double knife defense. Since that otherworldly rookie season he has averaged just 36.2 yards per punt, including a 12-yard beauty against the Steelers as a member of the Browns last year. He also joined the Detroit Lions roster for three and a half months this off-season before being cut. Although to his credit if Matt Millen doesn’t like him, he just might have some talent. Still, he isn’t half the punter Sepulveda is, literally, Sepulveda is huge, and I’m not counting on him to be anything more than adequate in Sepulveda’s place.

Kicking Style

Sepulveda is known for his “Aussie” style kicking in which he can make the football bounce straight up in the air, or backwards, when trying to down a punt inside the 20. While Ernster, is known for his “American toddler” style of kicking where he threatens to hold his breath until he turns blue, in the hope of preventing opposing defenses from pressuring him.

Field Position

Last season Sepulveda averaged 42.4 yards per punt, while more than doubling the number of kicks downed inside the 20 from the Steelers 2006 season, 28 up from 11. Ernster’s career averages suggest that he will likely get 19 or 20, which other than the previously mentioned number would be a five year low for a Steelers punter. Moreover, the average of 6 yards per punt difference between Sepulveda and Ernster means that compared to other teams the Steelers will essentially be playing on a 106-yard field. That may work for Devin Hester on a missed FG, but this Steelers team is not built for that.

Stability

Before Sepulveda the Steelers employed only two punters in the previous 11 seasons. Over the same period of time only Jeff Hartings and Dermontti Dawson played center for the team. While everyone talks about the consistency of the center position, they forget about how Jim Miller, Chris Gardocki, and Sepulveda have been the only Steelers punters for more than a decade. This shake-up, paralleled by the one at center this training camp, raises the chances of mistakes and conflict due to the instability of playing with their third punter in as many seasons.

Intangibles

Sepulveda completed a beautiful fake punt to Najeh Davenport last season that went for 32 yards. And with the game on the line in Week 3 Tomlin decided to trot him out on the “hands team” where he recovered an attempted onside kick.

Special Teams Coverage

Given the Steelers special teams units penchant for missing tackles, see: 2002 AFC Championship and more recently September 30 and November 11, 2007, having Sepulveda available to cover his own punts might not be a bad idea.

Touches

Over the last five years Steelers punters have averaged 70 punts a season. Over the same period of time Hines Ward, the Steelers most decorated receiver, has averaged almost 78 catches per season. Which means Ward handled the ball, on average, 1 time more than Sepulveda every 2 games. In addition, when his role as the placeholder is taken into account Sepulveda would handle the ball an average of 8.75 times per game compared to 7.88 for the Steelers top TWO receivers each of the last five years. Now imagine the reaction from fans and media alike if we lost both Santonio Holmes and Hines Ward for the season. Yet everyone is brushing aside the Sepulveda injury as inconsequential.

Conclusion

Sepulveda’s value cannot be overstated. He is the first player since Troy Polamalu in 2003, for whom the Steelers traded up in the draft to select. He brought confidence and toughness to a special teams unit who, outside of Jeff Reed, has been average at best since 2000. He had the best numbers of any Steelers punter in the last five years and he was just a rookie. And finally, he has shown that his background as a linebacker, enables him to do much more than just kick a ball, he can throw it, recover it, and yes even destroy someone who is carrying it,

(one more chance for anyone who passed it over the first time).

So get well soon Daniel, this season may be lost but there’s always 2009.

Conrad Waite likes beaches, aliens and glory. But movies will always be second in his heart to the Steelers.

We'll be back tomorrow to talk about Brett Favre (I know I know, but as a semi-professional sports blogger I am contractually obligated to talk about him), a Pirates trade, and Bert and Ernie doing gangsta rap.

Keep the Faith

-the legend

They laughed at Louie Armstrong when he said he was going to the moon, and now he's laughing at them from up there.

Ricky Henderson's in the HOF. Awesome.

Jimmie Johnson won a race. Horay.

Lance Armstrong did not. Whopee.

The Phillies did not trade for Halladay. God I can't even fake it anymore, sports just suck right now.


The good news is this dead time means we are that much closer to hockey season.

Plus, football training camp starts this week so hopefully The Law will be pouring some E85 premium octane knowledge down your throats in the near future with that shit.

Anyway, since there isn't a lot of stuff going on, we're going to throw some non-sports action at you in order to help you broaden your own realm of expertise.

First, the comedy world.

If you don't know about Jack Benny shame on you. Check out this clip with him and Mel Blanc, yes the Mel Blanc that voiced Bugs Bunny.

Warning: if you don't like good old fashioned family racism you may not like this video.




Jack Benny was one of the best comedians to come at a time when there were a lot of them. If you want to know more about him just youtube hime, I promise you it will be time well spent.

He was famous for being stingy, or at least his persona was. As one admirer put it, "his most famous joke took 20 years to write, and the punchline was silence"

A mugger asks Benny for a light then, brandishing a gun declares "Your money or your life" Pause. Laughter starts building, the pause gets longer. Finally, the mugger repeats the threat and Benny replies "I'm thinking, I'm thinking"


Second, the hip-hop world. For those of you that don't know Missy Elliot very well. She makes terrible rap songs that have sick beats and some of the best music videos bar none. Check this one out.



Sidenote Step Up 2: The Streets is an average movie but with some bad-ass dance scenes and the main girl is hot and sexy as hell.


Finally, if you haven't been watching Better Off Ted, shame on you for six weeks. Everyone on the show is hilarious. Don't believe me? I bet you that after watching this clip you won't be able to control yourself from heading straight to Hulu and catching up on past episodes.




that's www.hulu.com/better-off-ted

That's all for now. Make sure you tune into the show tonight Monday July 27 from 6-9pm, www.wdsr.org.


Keep the Faith

-the legend