This is my brother. And this is my brother's new girlfriend and she is NOT a whore!

Poor Andy Laroche. First, the guy gets traded to the Pirates. Now the greener side of the pasture is gone as his brother was traded to the Red Sox.

It's a good deal for the Pirates, as Laroche is expensive and never quite fulfilled the expectations we had for him. I'm not really sure what a .247 hitter is going to do for the Sox line-up, but as a depth guy and a defensive replacement, akin to the Mientkiewicz trade in 2004, he may be just what they need.

The Rays SUCKED for years and had virtually no one on their major league roster that anyone knew before they went to the World Series last year. Same with the Marlins. I'm glad the Pirates are dumping everybody, and I mean everybody, I want to see Wilson, Sanchez, Snell and even maybe some people like Grabow go if possible.

The Pirates actually have a promising future. Alverez, Tabata, and Milledge are all top notch power prospects, and as long as 1 of them turns out great and 1 turns out good, in addition to McCutchen, and the depth of pitching in the organization they might actually have a chance to make a big jump.

Pirates trade Adam Laroche to Boston Red Sox for SS Argenis Diaz and P Hunter Strickland

Solution to hitting slump: GIANT BAT

Speaking of giants

Penguins sign veteran G Brent Johnson to 1-year 525k contract

This is clearly a move made based on the possibility of the NHL expanding the size of the nets next season. I mean look at the guys range. He could cover a soccer net.

In all seriousness, it's a very good move for the Pens, bringing in a solid veteran, at a bargain basement price to compete with the unproven Curry for the back-up job. If Fleury goes down at any point this season, the Johnson signing will prove dividends, if not, no harm no foul. The guy is better than Sabourin and Garon, and cheaper.

I feel like giving kudos to Shero at this point is like congratulating the Sun for rising every morning. It just gets redundant.

I guess we'll wrap this up as an all Pittsburgh post.

The New Pens Stanley Cup DVD SUCKS

This is what a Stanley Cup video should look like.

Not This

It's over produced, over stylized, and completely impersonal. AND IT DOESN'T EVEN HAVE A TITLE!!

One From the Heart, and Against the Odds, both mean something. I guess we'll just refer to this as Pittsburgh Penguins Stanley Cup 2009 Champions. Bullshit. And that's not where the shittyness ends...shittiness...shityness...shitiness, fuck it you get the point.

The dvd menu comes up and looks and sounds like the intro to a video game. No KBL, no John Steigerwald, no early nineties facial hair. Then you press play.

The intro = breathtaking.

Perfect.

I would have been happier if the entire thing would have ended there. Because from that point forward it's choke city. There's no tiger sounds when bodies collide. The narrator is average at best. And the pacing is terrible.

There's nothing but glossy packaging here. The old tapes got into the Pens history, blue jerseys, and the drafting of Lemiuex. We got to see Recchi's mullet, and the tribute to Bob Johnson.

The new one simply move chronologically through the highlights of the year.

If you want to understand my dismay, here's the best metaphor. The old VHS tapes are like local coverage, Fox Sports, Mike Lange, Phil Bourque, Myron Cope. This new DVD has NBC, Mike Emerick, Ed Olczyk, and national coverage written all over them.

And worst of all there's no great lines from it. No "it became known simply as THE save" or "it was the dance of champions". We're a city born with character. We take pride in our uniqueness. And this DVD has too little of that.

I would have survived without all the aspects of the videos that could be construed as nostalgia. I get it production values have improved. But it's the impersonality of the whole thing that sets this apart. It's just another league produced highlight tape. There's no heart in it. Even that I could have accepted if it wasn't for the fact that all the Pens bloggers were saying this one holds up against the old ones. Thepensblog, Pensuniverse, and a host of others all claimed, incorrectly, that this DVD to be just as good as the first two.

I think thepensblog guys were blinded by their press passes, as they got to view the DVD at a special premiere. And maybe I shouldn't fault them for that because I imagine it may have been a lot better in that atmosphere. But I don't know how to explain their attitudes toward subsequent viewings of the tape, or how to explain any other Penguins bloggers views. It was crushing the first time I watched it because I let all of them build it up for me. And while I still got chills during Mike Lange's call, it was a bit bittersweet knowing how good it could have been.

The fact is the Stanley Cup Finals were epic and will stay with me forever. Unfortunately the DVD commemorating them will not.


Keep the Faith

-the legend

Personal philosophy? Clothing optional.

Oh Will, you will never fail to give me a funny quote that perfectly fits in as a blog title. And I have Blades of Glory to thank for this one, though I never thought I would EVER thank you for that movie. Before we get to the uncomfortable reference the title relates to we need to address some other things.

Alright this has been a week in coming and I'm sorry.

First, some house cleaning, from this point forward I'm planning on a new post going up every other day. When pressing news comes up it'll be more often, and if nothing is going on or shit hits the fan for me, then slightly less. The last two weeks I worked 132 hours, so that's how I fell behind and didn't post for 7+ days. My bad, should never happen again.

Also, I am told that The Law will make an appearance here soon but I can't guarantee anything, he has promised and failed to deliver before. What do you expect from a future lawyer, he doesn't even follow the damn blog yet.

Moving on.


First headline to address, Maggie Hendricks of Yahoo! Sports has a great article about an incident involving ESPN reporter Erin Andrews.

For anyone that hasn't heard, Andrews was reportedly filmed nude through a hotel room peephole.

Now I've commented frequently about how much I'm in love with Rachael Nichols. And I've made plenty an off-color joke about her. However, even those jokes revolved more about the fact that she was hot AND knew more about sports than me. But the only reaction I had to this story was anger, not even at the perpetrator because there are always going to be wackos out there, but at the legion of men I knew would flock to search engines to try to track down the video. That is until I learned that many people that believed they were downloading the Erin Andrews video were actually downloading a virus. HA. Serves them right.

I'd still take bikini pics of Rachael Nichols though. That woman could read me injury reports all night long.

Jay Mckee signs 1-year 800k contract with Pens

Yes that is Jay Mckee in the middle. Scuds may have blocked shots in the paint in Game 6 of the Stanley Cup Finals, but there is no way he had the legs to fill out that dress.

In all seriousness, in the words of the immortal Mel Brooks "It's good to be the King". Last year it was the Wings that got the best UFA for a one year deal. This year it's the Pens convincing Feds to take a pay cut, and sign for just one year, and signing Jay Mckee to an 80% pay cut from his salary last year.

I realize he's going to be paid a good portion of his salary, since he was bought out by the Blues, but I still didn't think we were going to get him for less than $1.5-$2M. 800k is highway robbery, and Shero should get put away for life under the 3 strikes rule.

Let's review.

Coming off a Stanley Cup victory the Penguins lost 2 of their starting 6 defensemen (Rob Scuderi and Hal Gill) But replaced them with a virtual clone in Mckee. And Gogo, who should be solid defensively and adds considerably to Bylsma's system as he is much more effiecient in moving the puck than either Gill or Scuds.

They lost Petr Sykora, who while a significant contributor over his two years here, had become an afterthought during their playoff run. And Matheiu Garon, a devestating loss no doubt, but one that they hope to overcome by appeasing to the gods with a human sacrifice. I'm thinking Godard, or maybe we bring back Erik Christensen. Either way, those are the players we lost.

That's it.

Everyone else is back.

Oh and Sid, Malkin, Staal, Letang, and Fleury should all be better.

Scary.

Coming up next, more updates on off-season stuff, a couple of great videos, and I go off on Pensblog and Pensuniverse because they were both very very wrong.


Keep the Faith.

-the legend