Everybody panic! It's just like the Titanic but it's full of bears!

So Brett Favre is retired

For now.

How can you not love this man?

I'll tell you, I really do hate all of the coverage about him. For each of the past 3 years I've nearly cried as sports talk was dominated by the original maverick. And I know there are sports people that say "we'll stop talking about him when you stop listening to us talk about him", and I promise you I did. When ESPN talked about him, unless it was Rachael Nichols doing the reporting, I changed the channel.

Honestly though, after everything he has put us through, how can you not love a man that says this "I really believe this is it...I truly, truly believe it's over...But if someone calls November 1, who knows?''

WHAT!?!?!?!?!

Those are mutually exclusive thoughts.

Favre has turned into the Saw franchise. Some people like him, most people despise him, but every year there he is again with a new story, sort of, ready to cash his check and continue his slow destruction of American society.

Moving on.

and speaking of slow destruction...

The Pirates announced, that, well, everyone has been traded.

The good news: The West Virginia Power just got a whole lot better

The bad news: that's what we got for Ian Snell

I'd break it down trade by trade, but frankly I don't have the time, plus you can find that analysis just about anywhere. All I'm going to say is that I'm gonna make sure I buy tickets to a game before the end of the season. kudos buccos.

Before this trade deadling the only coverage the Pirates EVER got on the national scene was about how bad they were, how beautiful PNC Park is, how much a shame it is that such a bad team plays in such a great stadium and the fact that their losing season streak is legally old enough to drive.

Now that they have essentially sold their starting line-up at least the press on them isn't ALL negative. Here's an excerpt from an article on ESPN.com by Jayson Stark with some expert takes on the trades

PRO -- "As they said themselves, it's not like they just broke up the '27 Yankees. They weren't going to compete with those guys anyway. And they were just going to start getting too expensive before they had enough talent to win. With the players they got back, some are more questionable than others. But I still think what they're doing is the right thing."

CON -- "I don't know what they're doing. They're either over-evaluating their return or under-evaluating what they're moving, or just trying to blow every [big] contract off their roster, because I really don't see a lot of upside in just about anyone they got back."

PRO -- "At least they're finally doing it right. Before, they'd always kind of half rebuild. Not this time. I'm not sure where it's leading. But I'll say this. They've definitely got a deep farm system."

CON -- "I've seen fire sales. But this is the biggest fire sale I've ever seen. I don't know how you can do this to your fans. You can't just wipe it out and say, 'Come see us in three years.' ... They've got a lot of players now, but I'm not sure what they've got. They've got plenty of quantity. I'm just not sure of the quality. All I know is, some of these guys, in two years, had better be pretty good players. Or somebody has a lot of explaining to do."

At least the opinions on what the team is doing is .500. That could be a start.


I'll admit it is bittersweet to see Jack Wilson go. My favorite bucco since he came on the scene, the guy really did love Pittsburgh. The Trib has a great article about him not getting to say goodbye to the fans.

Almost makes you want to drive to Cleveland at the end of the month when the Mariners travel there. Almost.


Andrew McCutchen almost hit a baseball all the way to Cleveland (see what I did there, it's called a Segway, and it's really expensive)

Pictured here talking to Jim Bowers,
aka Bowers the master of the water balloon from Little Big League

McCutchen belted 3 home runs Saturday night, the first time a Pirates player did that since 2001 when Aramis Ramriez hit...crap so that means he's gone.

I love that this team didn't hit a home run for like 10 games right around the end of May beginning of June, then Garrett Jones hits 10 in July, McCutchen hits 3 Sat. night, and Delwyn Young and FUCKING Ronny Cedeno each hit one on Sunday.

Yes THE Ronny Cedeno. Nothing like trading for a guy that hits .2oo points better for your team than the last one he played for. Mr. Egg meet Mr. Jack Zduriencik's face.


Finally, the Pens signed some guys. Nothing major, again I'd break it down for you but I missed the boat, and they are all likely WBS deals anyway. Check out thepensblog if you want more info.

Finally, (part two) I want to address this issue before it gets out of hand. If you want timely, go buy a watch. Let's face facts you don't read this blog to get fast breaking news, you read it because you're either a) drunk, b) lost, or c) related to me. Although if you're c) you're probably a) too. And I thank you for it, just don't expect me to be anything but me. I think it was Ghandi that said that, or was it Popeye?


Keep the Faith.

-the legend

In this corner, weighing in at 110 pounds, pushing 89 years of age and the recent recipient of a brand new plastic hip, Joseph "Blue" Polaski.

I swear last season we were just one step away from actually using him as our punter. I promised listeners of the radio show (Monday nights 6-9pm EST www.wdsr.org) that I would post this article about Daniel Sepulveda's written during training camp last season, so you all can see just how right and yet how unbelievably wrong I was at the same time. Let's do it.

Is the Steelers Season Already Over?

Training camp is only two weeks old and already there has been a lot of discussion about the precarious state of this years Steelers team. At many positions they are just one or two injuries away from being crippled. Last year it was Aaron Smith’s torn bicep, the lack of depth behind Willie Parker and Troy Polamalu playing most of the season at less than 100%, that really slowed the team.

As the opening game of the 2008 season approaches questions about the offensive and defensive lines, the linebacker corps, and the defensive backfield dominate conversation. However, one event from early in training camp should be a greater source of concern for fans and isn’t being given enough coverage by the media. No I’m not talking about the shape that Casey Hampton reported to camp in (round), or the condition of Troy Polamalu’s hamstring (still stringy).

As far as I’m concerned on Monday July 28, the Steelers season officially ended, when #9 Daniel Sepulveda tore his ACL for the second time in three seasons.

You’re saying What? Who? The guy that punts the ball? I thought his name was Costaki Gardocki something? In fact, the Steelers 2007 fourth round draft choice Daniel Sepulveda is not only a great player, but would have been an integral part of any success the Steelers were going to have this season.

Sepulveda was one of the most consistent players last year on what was otherwise a very poor special teams unit. It was out of necessity that the Steelers traded a sixth round pick to move up and get this guy, much to the chagrin of people who are smart enough to analyze the draft, but not smart enough to get paid to make actual draft picks themselves.

Granted this was a pick they could have used to select any number of players including, former track star Michael Johnson, defensive back from Arizona, who would have added much needed speed to their secondary, Tyler Thigpen, QB from Coast Carolina, and brother of Yancey Thigpen, who they could have brought out of retirement to form and awesome 1-2 familial punch, or even Daren Stone, defensive back from Maine, who could have lined up opposite Ike Taylor and given us 2 d-backs with Stone hands. (Just missing the cut: Chase Pittman, DE LSU, any pass rusher named Chase sounds good to me. Just need to get a DE on the other side named Tackle Martin, or Sack Rase.)

However, they made the right decision by selecting Sepulveda, it’s just unfortunate that his injury likely derailed their season. What follows are the seven reasons why they can’t possibly win in his absence.

The Replacement

Paul Ernster was drafted in the 7^th round in 2005. He lasted just one full season before being cut by Denver. Denver! Do you realize how easy it is to punt in Denver? It’s like punting on the moon, minus Buzz Aldrin and Neil Armstrong’s double knife defense. Since that otherworldly rookie season he has averaged just 36.2 yards per punt, including a 12-yard beauty against the Steelers as a member of the Browns last year. He also joined the Detroit Lions roster for three and a half months this off-season before being cut. Although to his credit if Matt Millen doesn’t like him, he just might have some talent. Still, he isn’t half the punter Sepulveda is, literally, Sepulveda is huge, and I’m not counting on him to be anything more than adequate in Sepulveda’s place.

Kicking Style

Sepulveda is known for his “Aussie” style kicking in which he can make the football bounce straight up in the air, or backwards, when trying to down a punt inside the 20. While Ernster, is known for his “American toddler” style of kicking where he threatens to hold his breath until he turns blue, in the hope of preventing opposing defenses from pressuring him.

Field Position

Last season Sepulveda averaged 42.4 yards per punt, while more than doubling the number of kicks downed inside the 20 from the Steelers 2006 season, 28 up from 11. Ernster’s career averages suggest that he will likely get 19 or 20, which other than the previously mentioned number would be a five year low for a Steelers punter. Moreover, the average of 6 yards per punt difference between Sepulveda and Ernster means that compared to other teams the Steelers will essentially be playing on a 106-yard field. That may work for Devin Hester on a missed FG, but this Steelers team is not built for that.

Stability

Before Sepulveda the Steelers employed only two punters in the previous 11 seasons. Over the same period of time only Jeff Hartings and Dermontti Dawson played center for the team. While everyone talks about the consistency of the center position, they forget about how Jim Miller, Chris Gardocki, and Sepulveda have been the only Steelers punters for more than a decade. This shake-up, paralleled by the one at center this training camp, raises the chances of mistakes and conflict due to the instability of playing with their third punter in as many seasons.

Intangibles

Sepulveda completed a beautiful fake punt to Najeh Davenport last season that went for 32 yards. And with the game on the line in Week 3 Tomlin decided to trot him out on the “hands team” where he recovered an attempted onside kick.

Special Teams Coverage

Given the Steelers special teams units penchant for missing tackles, see: 2002 AFC Championship and more recently September 30 and November 11, 2007, having Sepulveda available to cover his own punts might not be a bad idea.

Touches

Over the last five years Steelers punters have averaged 70 punts a season. Over the same period of time Hines Ward, the Steelers most decorated receiver, has averaged almost 78 catches per season. Which means Ward handled the ball, on average, 1 time more than Sepulveda every 2 games. In addition, when his role as the placeholder is taken into account Sepulveda would handle the ball an average of 8.75 times per game compared to 7.88 for the Steelers top TWO receivers each of the last five years. Now imagine the reaction from fans and media alike if we lost both Santonio Holmes and Hines Ward for the season. Yet everyone is brushing aside the Sepulveda injury as inconsequential.

Conclusion

Sepulveda’s value cannot be overstated. He is the first player since Troy Polamalu in 2003, for whom the Steelers traded up in the draft to select. He brought confidence and toughness to a special teams unit who, outside of Jeff Reed, has been average at best since 2000. He had the best numbers of any Steelers punter in the last five years and he was just a rookie. And finally, he has shown that his background as a linebacker, enables him to do much more than just kick a ball, he can throw it, recover it, and yes even destroy someone who is carrying it,

(one more chance for anyone who passed it over the first time).

So get well soon Daniel, this season may be lost but there’s always 2009.

Conrad Waite likes beaches, aliens and glory. But movies will always be second in his heart to the Steelers.

We'll be back tomorrow to talk about Brett Favre (I know I know, but as a semi-professional sports blogger I am contractually obligated to talk about him), a Pirates trade, and Bert and Ernie doing gangsta rap.

Keep the Faith

-the legend

They laughed at Louie Armstrong when he said he was going to the moon, and now he's laughing at them from up there.

Ricky Henderson's in the HOF. Awesome.

Jimmie Johnson won a race. Horay.

Lance Armstrong did not. Whopee.

The Phillies did not trade for Halladay. God I can't even fake it anymore, sports just suck right now.


The good news is this dead time means we are that much closer to hockey season.

Plus, football training camp starts this week so hopefully The Law will be pouring some E85 premium octane knowledge down your throats in the near future with that shit.

Anyway, since there isn't a lot of stuff going on, we're going to throw some non-sports action at you in order to help you broaden your own realm of expertise.

First, the comedy world.

If you don't know about Jack Benny shame on you. Check out this clip with him and Mel Blanc, yes the Mel Blanc that voiced Bugs Bunny.

Warning: if you don't like good old fashioned family racism you may not like this video.




Jack Benny was one of the best comedians to come at a time when there were a lot of them. If you want to know more about him just youtube hime, I promise you it will be time well spent.

He was famous for being stingy, or at least his persona was. As one admirer put it, "his most famous joke took 20 years to write, and the punchline was silence"

A mugger asks Benny for a light then, brandishing a gun declares "Your money or your life" Pause. Laughter starts building, the pause gets longer. Finally, the mugger repeats the threat and Benny replies "I'm thinking, I'm thinking"


Second, the hip-hop world. For those of you that don't know Missy Elliot very well. She makes terrible rap songs that have sick beats and some of the best music videos bar none. Check this one out.



Sidenote Step Up 2: The Streets is an average movie but with some bad-ass dance scenes and the main girl is hot and sexy as hell.


Finally, if you haven't been watching Better Off Ted, shame on you for six weeks. Everyone on the show is hilarious. Don't believe me? I bet you that after watching this clip you won't be able to control yourself from heading straight to Hulu and catching up on past episodes.




that's www.hulu.com/better-off-ted

That's all for now. Make sure you tune into the show tonight Monday July 27 from 6-9pm, www.wdsr.org.


Keep the Faith

-the legend

This is my brother. And this is my brother's new girlfriend and she is NOT a whore!

Poor Andy Laroche. First, the guy gets traded to the Pirates. Now the greener side of the pasture is gone as his brother was traded to the Red Sox.

It's a good deal for the Pirates, as Laroche is expensive and never quite fulfilled the expectations we had for him. I'm not really sure what a .247 hitter is going to do for the Sox line-up, but as a depth guy and a defensive replacement, akin to the Mientkiewicz trade in 2004, he may be just what they need.

The Rays SUCKED for years and had virtually no one on their major league roster that anyone knew before they went to the World Series last year. Same with the Marlins. I'm glad the Pirates are dumping everybody, and I mean everybody, I want to see Wilson, Sanchez, Snell and even maybe some people like Grabow go if possible.

The Pirates actually have a promising future. Alverez, Tabata, and Milledge are all top notch power prospects, and as long as 1 of them turns out great and 1 turns out good, in addition to McCutchen, and the depth of pitching in the organization they might actually have a chance to make a big jump.

Pirates trade Adam Laroche to Boston Red Sox for SS Argenis Diaz and P Hunter Strickland

Solution to hitting slump: GIANT BAT

Speaking of giants

Penguins sign veteran G Brent Johnson to 1-year 525k contract

This is clearly a move made based on the possibility of the NHL expanding the size of the nets next season. I mean look at the guys range. He could cover a soccer net.

In all seriousness, it's a very good move for the Pens, bringing in a solid veteran, at a bargain basement price to compete with the unproven Curry for the back-up job. If Fleury goes down at any point this season, the Johnson signing will prove dividends, if not, no harm no foul. The guy is better than Sabourin and Garon, and cheaper.

I feel like giving kudos to Shero at this point is like congratulating the Sun for rising every morning. It just gets redundant.

I guess we'll wrap this up as an all Pittsburgh post.

The New Pens Stanley Cup DVD SUCKS

This is what a Stanley Cup video should look like.

Not This

It's over produced, over stylized, and completely impersonal. AND IT DOESN'T EVEN HAVE A TITLE!!

One From the Heart, and Against the Odds, both mean something. I guess we'll just refer to this as Pittsburgh Penguins Stanley Cup 2009 Champions. Bullshit. And that's not where the shittyness ends...shittiness...shityness...shitiness, fuck it you get the point.

The dvd menu comes up and looks and sounds like the intro to a video game. No KBL, no John Steigerwald, no early nineties facial hair. Then you press play.

The intro = breathtaking.

Perfect.

I would have been happier if the entire thing would have ended there. Because from that point forward it's choke city. There's no tiger sounds when bodies collide. The narrator is average at best. And the pacing is terrible.

There's nothing but glossy packaging here. The old tapes got into the Pens history, blue jerseys, and the drafting of Lemiuex. We got to see Recchi's mullet, and the tribute to Bob Johnson.

The new one simply move chronologically through the highlights of the year.

If you want to understand my dismay, here's the best metaphor. The old VHS tapes are like local coverage, Fox Sports, Mike Lange, Phil Bourque, Myron Cope. This new DVD has NBC, Mike Emerick, Ed Olczyk, and national coverage written all over them.

And worst of all there's no great lines from it. No "it became known simply as THE save" or "it was the dance of champions". We're a city born with character. We take pride in our uniqueness. And this DVD has too little of that.

I would have survived without all the aspects of the videos that could be construed as nostalgia. I get it production values have improved. But it's the impersonality of the whole thing that sets this apart. It's just another league produced highlight tape. There's no heart in it. Even that I could have accepted if it wasn't for the fact that all the Pens bloggers were saying this one holds up against the old ones. Thepensblog, Pensuniverse, and a host of others all claimed, incorrectly, that this DVD to be just as good as the first two.

I think thepensblog guys were blinded by their press passes, as they got to view the DVD at a special premiere. And maybe I shouldn't fault them for that because I imagine it may have been a lot better in that atmosphere. But I don't know how to explain their attitudes toward subsequent viewings of the tape, or how to explain any other Penguins bloggers views. It was crushing the first time I watched it because I let all of them build it up for me. And while I still got chills during Mike Lange's call, it was a bit bittersweet knowing how good it could have been.

The fact is the Stanley Cup Finals were epic and will stay with me forever. Unfortunately the DVD commemorating them will not.


Keep the Faith

-the legend

Personal philosophy? Clothing optional.

Oh Will, you will never fail to give me a funny quote that perfectly fits in as a blog title. And I have Blades of Glory to thank for this one, though I never thought I would EVER thank you for that movie. Before we get to the uncomfortable reference the title relates to we need to address some other things.

Alright this has been a week in coming and I'm sorry.

First, some house cleaning, from this point forward I'm planning on a new post going up every other day. When pressing news comes up it'll be more often, and if nothing is going on or shit hits the fan for me, then slightly less. The last two weeks I worked 132 hours, so that's how I fell behind and didn't post for 7+ days. My bad, should never happen again.

Also, I am told that The Law will make an appearance here soon but I can't guarantee anything, he has promised and failed to deliver before. What do you expect from a future lawyer, he doesn't even follow the damn blog yet.

Moving on.


First headline to address, Maggie Hendricks of Yahoo! Sports has a great article about an incident involving ESPN reporter Erin Andrews.

For anyone that hasn't heard, Andrews was reportedly filmed nude through a hotel room peephole.

Now I've commented frequently about how much I'm in love with Rachael Nichols. And I've made plenty an off-color joke about her. However, even those jokes revolved more about the fact that she was hot AND knew more about sports than me. But the only reaction I had to this story was anger, not even at the perpetrator because there are always going to be wackos out there, but at the legion of men I knew would flock to search engines to try to track down the video. That is until I learned that many people that believed they were downloading the Erin Andrews video were actually downloading a virus. HA. Serves them right.

I'd still take bikini pics of Rachael Nichols though. That woman could read me injury reports all night long.

Jay Mckee signs 1-year 800k contract with Pens

Yes that is Jay Mckee in the middle. Scuds may have blocked shots in the paint in Game 6 of the Stanley Cup Finals, but there is no way he had the legs to fill out that dress.

In all seriousness, in the words of the immortal Mel Brooks "It's good to be the King". Last year it was the Wings that got the best UFA for a one year deal. This year it's the Pens convincing Feds to take a pay cut, and sign for just one year, and signing Jay Mckee to an 80% pay cut from his salary last year.

I realize he's going to be paid a good portion of his salary, since he was bought out by the Blues, but I still didn't think we were going to get him for less than $1.5-$2M. 800k is highway robbery, and Shero should get put away for life under the 3 strikes rule.

Let's review.

Coming off a Stanley Cup victory the Penguins lost 2 of their starting 6 defensemen (Rob Scuderi and Hal Gill) But replaced them with a virtual clone in Mckee. And Gogo, who should be solid defensively and adds considerably to Bylsma's system as he is much more effiecient in moving the puck than either Gill or Scuds.

They lost Petr Sykora, who while a significant contributor over his two years here, had become an afterthought during their playoff run. And Matheiu Garon, a devestating loss no doubt, but one that they hope to overcome by appeasing to the gods with a human sacrifice. I'm thinking Godard, or maybe we bring back Erik Christensen. Either way, those are the players we lost.

That's it.

Everyone else is back.

Oh and Sid, Malkin, Staal, Letang, and Fleury should all be better.

Scary.

Coming up next, more updates on off-season stuff, a couple of great videos, and I go off on Pensblog and Pensuniverse because they were both very very wrong.


Keep the Faith.

-the legend

No, your name is Liar, 'cause you tell lies.

I know I'm sorry. Somebody passed out on their couch last night.

Let it be said that I had every intention of giving you guys a double blog tonight, however I really want to nail the FA defensemen thing, so I need some more time to do some research. What you're going to get tonight is my reaction to all the recent news, and tomorrow will be FA eharmony style.

It's really not my fault because the fact is the GM's were sluggish in responding to my questionairre, which has forced me to make up all these reasons why I haven't done the posting.

Also, I'm going to pass on Joe Sakic stuff until he officially announces his retirement. The man is 8th all time in points, I think he deserves his own post. So here we go...

Saku Koivu signs 1-year deal for to play for the Anaheim Ducks

Sign me up as someone who thinks the Ducks got better this offseason. Granted it's a stretch considering they aren't going to be able to suit up Niedermeyer AND Pronger for 30 mins a game against opponents, but the scoring depth they added may make up for that.

I think the loss of Beauchemin hurts the most right now, and they still need to replace him through FA (a point I will get to later), but with Whitney playing for them the a whole season, plus Koivu on their second line, and Lupul adding to their depth at forward, they now have threats they didn't have last year.

I'm sold on Jonas Hiller so I think they could still make a move with Giguere and really catapult themselves to the upper echelon of the Western Conference.

Gustavsson signs with Toronto Maple Leafs for 1-year $810,000

I now grade Burke's offseason as an A-. He might not make the playoffs this year, but he's certainly leaving his fingerprints, or should I say fistprints, all over the Maple Leafs. He traded Kubina and signed Komisarek to get tougher on defence. Signed Beauchemin, someone he was familiar with at Anaheim, to add some skill to the core. And he won the Gustavsson sweepstakes.

All he has to do now is trade Kaberle, hopefully for a decent forward, or at least two good prospects, and he's set. And don't give me shit for the picture because it was either that picture or this one

and since I'm pretty sure that's a pro beach hockey goalie, I figured the shirtless guy was more likely to be Jonas.

Chris Pronger signs 7-year $35 million extension

I think this signing is crazy because it locks Pronger up through the age of 42 at a cap hit of $5 mil a year and for a guy that size, that plays as tough as he does, I wouldn't want anything to do with him after 40. But then again what do you expect from a team that signs Danny Briere to 8 years $52 million. I'm guessing the extra years were to take the yearly cap number down, which was neccessary given all the Flyers bad contracts over the years.

Shit, who am I kidding at the end of the day how do I say anything about this other than it's bad for the Penguins because Pronger is going to be doing exactly what he is pictured here doing to Sid and Geno 8 times a season. Kudos Philadelphia, every time I think you guys couldn't possibly get meaner or dirtier, Bobby Clarke steps his game up another notch.

Which reminds me I need to clear the air a bit. The the pensblog guys are rarely wrong with their assessments, and if anything I give them a lot of credit for the intelligence behind their opinions, however since they are kind of the bar at which I measure entertaining sports blogging against I feel the need to disagree with a couple of things in a recent post about the Flyers.

First, they say Philadelphia "put a name between the pipes". If they meant this literally then yes the Flyers did, however my interpretation of the comment, given it was mixed with other claims of how the Flyers improved themselves this offseason, was that Ray Emery is an improvement over Marty Biron. At best, Emery is a slightly better goalie, but getting his best is the biggest challenge with him. Biron was a solid, stable, goaltender, and Emery has been called a lot of things in his career, but solid and stable he is not. I personally think their goaltending this year is a mess.

Second, they claim that Briare will eventually "justify his contract". Read this slowly.

Not.

Gonna.

Happen.

Briere, at the very top of his game is a Sedin twin. And that's not taking into account the age and size difference, his penchant for injuries, or his woeful plus/minus i.e. defense. Don't get me wrong, I love Briere. I loved him in Phoenix when he was an unknown, who buried 30 goals a year. And I loved him when he got paid, because he got a $50 million contract and he's smaller, and tamer, than your average house cat. But the guy looks like he'd fit in better as a member of The Monkees, or as seen here the early Beatles, than an NHL team.

and that's just not good enough for $6.5 mil a year. Which is the last reason I love him. Because every year he is on the Flyers roster he makes them worse with his albatross of a contract. I claimed earlier this year that in the salary cap era Jordan Staal was a luxury third line center at $4 mil a year, what does that make Briere?

Look the Flyers will be good next year, and they may beat the Pens in the playoffs at some point. Howver the problem with Philly is this: over the next four years they are paying Danny Briere, Mike Richards, Chris Pronger and Kimmo Timonen about $24 million a season. Over the same time frame the Pens will be paying Sidney Crosby, Evgeni Malkin, Jordan Staal and Brooks Orpik almost the same amount. Name one GM other than Clarke or Brian Burke that would take the Flyers core over the Pens. Exactly. Factor in the fact that Philadelphia also has Hartnell signed for $4.2 mil a year while the Penguins are getting Marc-Andre Fleury for $5 mil and you see how much better off the Penguins are moving forward than the Flyers.

Philadelphia was able to improve themselves this offseason, but they're still behind Boston and Washington as the biggest threats to the Pens in the Eastern Conference.


Tomorrow's post will be epic I promise. Of course, my word isn't exactly worth much at this point. I promise anyone that takes the time to email me and complain (thelegendandthelaw@gmail.com) will get a free "The Legend and The Law" t-shirt as well as a free college special from Milano's. For those of you that listen to the radio show, you know these gifts are typically reserved for promotions and prize packages, so it's your lucky day.

Keep the Faith.

-the legend

Where art thou dog? Thy canine lover? Where is thy hot breath on the nape of my neck? We shall form a bond. You will lick my face and I your snout

Pens or big NHL news, Pens or big NHL news. Eh, we'll start with the NHL

Alexei Kovalev signs 2-year, $10 million deal with the Ottawa Senators

I love the logic of the NHL. Our team has been handcuffed by a selfish player, who played well below his ability this season, but has the ability to put the puck in the net as well as anyone. So we're going to sign an often enigmatic player, who played well below his ability this season and who was sent home for two weeks in the middle of a playoff race, to "get his head straight", to replace him. Excellent. Honestly, if they get a decent trade, like Penner and Cogliano, with the addition of Kovalev they might not miss Heatley so much. Again, this is another signing that only turns out well if other moves are made, and if everything works out perfectly.
Grade: I'll give it a B once Heatley is traded. Now C+ at best.

Toronto Maple Leafs sign FA defenseman Francois Beauchemin

Now that looks like a Brian Burke player (Beauchemin is the one who still has a head, btw). I don't think Toronto is going to get where it wants to be immediately. What I fear is that by the time their primo talent develops their roster is going to be loaded with lesser talent eating up a good chunk of cap space. This was the formula Burke used in Anaheim, and it just might work here, but it still hinges on a lot, including trading Kaberle. I'm just saying if I was starting a team I would not choose Mike Komisarek $4.5 mil, Thomas Kaberle $4.25 mil, Francois Beauchemin $3.8 mil, Jeff Finger $3.5 mil, and Mike Van Ryn $2.9 mil as my five defensemen.
Grade: A-, a little expensive, but he's not overpriced and it makes them better

Penguins sign F Chris Conner and D Chris Lee

Ray Shero has officially shown his first sign of panic, as upon Chris Minard's departure to Edmonton he clearly felt the Penguins were underrepresented by people named Chris and he snapped up the first two he found. Conner seems like a good replacement for Taffe, similar stats and history, Lee is another depth signing as the Pens recognize that Gogo and Lovejoy may not play with the Baby Pens this season. More good deals from The Boss, we're just waiting on that 6th Defenseman.

Speaking of which...

I finally figured out what I'm going to do for you guys, since I've put this off for two days due to my schedule, tomorrow night I'm going to bring you Pens FA, the eharmony version. We'll match up the remaining D on the market with the Penguins organization based on an in depth online questionnaire and a complicated algorithm that I spent years developing under the tutelage of eharmony found Neil Clark Warren and mathematician John Nash. This thing has a 100% guarantee (with a margin of error of +/- 50%), so make sure you come back for that.


Much love guys.

-the legend

I see Blue, He look's glorious.

I was planning on putting out the update on the FA situation, but when I got off of work last night I saw this.

Tragedy takes no holidays: McNair shot dead in Nashville

I've been reading up a lot on McNair today, and in death people often get glorified. However, more than any athlete's death I remember in the recent past, he is being remembered first and foremost for what a good person he was. As details have been leaking out, it sounds more and more like this is one of those unfortunate and unnecessary tragidies that could have been easily avoided.

McNair is probably best remembered for this drive that came up just a yard short in Super Bowl XXXIV.

It's unfortunate that he is so often remembered for this losing effort. His friends, teammates, and fellow NFL players all will remember him for his toughness on the field as well as the kind of man he was off of it.

But perhaps, sadly, it's fitting that for a man who left us too soon, the signature moment of his career is one where he came up short.


Enjoy the rest of your holiday weekend. We'll return tomorrow with our NHL update. Don't forget to tune into the show Monday night 6-9pm, www.wdsr.org.

-the legend

We? No, we are not French. We are American, because you're in America, okay? Greatest country on the planet.

Happy July 4th to all.

On to business.

It's a sad day in the P. As the Penguins have lost Michel Therrien's whipping boy Chris Minard. Three minute Minard as we liked to call him around here, sat on the bench with the best of them. The man played two shifts a game better than anyone I've ever seen. He's pictured here in his favorite spot during the 2007-08 season.

I tried to find a picture of him on the ice in a Pittsburgh Penguins uniform, but they don't make camaras with fast enough shutter speeds. The Springfield Falcons just got a whole lot better.

In similar news Jeff Taffe signed with the Florida Panthers. Turns out Jeff Taffe has scored 20 goals in his NHL career, who knew?


Penguins sign Chris Conner, Nate Guenin and...

Ruslan Fedotenko

pictured here dropping a deuce

I questioned Ray Shero once. I thought his contract offer to Hossa last year was a mistake, given the peripheral effects it would have had on our team. I thought he got distracted by the shiny new toy in his office. However, as I pointed out with some other moves he made this off-season Shero is always learning. And no where is it more obvious than Feds re-signing. This is exactly what I wanted, and I could probably write a treatise as to why, but I'll break down the main points.

1 year, $1.8 million.

Feds was coming off a dynamite postseason where he proved for a second time how clutch of a performer he was. I imagine he was looking for a multi-year deal. I was just hoping to get him under the $2.25 mil he played for last year and I was thinking it might take a 2-year deal just to do that, I never pictured him coming in under $2 mil.

I think big props need to be given to Adams, Guerin and Feds. I realize the economy is in the tank, and demand for these guys services might not have been high, but all three signed for less money, and short deals to stick around. We're looking good for next year folks we're looking real good.

And best of all next off-season when the cap is expected to drop between $3-5 million we have Guerin $2 mil, Feds $1.8 mil, Cooke $1.2 mil, and Eaton $2 mil all coming off the books. Not getting stuck in a multi-year deal for our top six forward is a big deal with Letang needing a raise.


On to the final story of the day...

Mr Smith Goes to Hollywood

Is it me or does he look a bit like a cartoon in this picture?

Anyway, Ryan Smith is traded from the Colorado Avalanche to the LA Kings for D-men Kyle Quincey, Tom Preissing and a fifth-round pick in 2010. I think this is a great trade for LA, good trade for Colorado. First, the Avs.

It's a bit confounding as they already have 5 defenseman on their roster making over $3 million. But 4 are over thirty years old and 3 of them will be UFA's next year. So perhaps they're going to be shopping their services to other teams. Preissing is 30, a little cheaper than the guys I mentioned and has two years left on his contract. Quincey is a nice young guy to get in the deal, but I don't think LA gave up much in the deal, especially considering their depth at the position.

Which is why this is a great deal for the Kings. Smith is better than anyone currently on the market. He was much easier to get than Heatley, not to mention a bit better of a locker room presence. And given his cost, might have been a better option than Gaborik, and certainly a better option than tying yourself to Hossa for 12 years. People are always looking for the best player, which is not a bad strategy, but sometimes it's more about the best fit. And I can't think of a better fit for the Young LA Kings than Ryan Smith. I said in my review of the Scuderi signing that this would be a team to be reckoned with in 2-3 years. Look for them to make a Chicago type leap this season, and if they continue with the right moves to be a presence in 2.


Tomorrow we'll review what's left out on the market, mainly for the purpose of who the Penguins might sign on defense. Hopefully they don't snap up Jay Mckee by then or I'm going to have to think of something else. Don't forget about The Legend and The Law LIVE Monday night 6-9pm. www.wdsr.org. Have a safe and happy holiday.

Keep the Faith

-the legend.

They're like 4-foot whirling dervishes.

The Pittsburgh Penguins have suddenly become enamored with size. Here's a look at the height and weight of the Pens draft class this year.

Simon Despres 6'3" 205lbs
Philip Samuelsson 6'2" 198lbs
Ben Hanowski 6'1" 198lbs
Nick Peterson 6'2" 186lbs
Alex Velischek 6'0" 200lbs
Andy Bathgate 6'0" 164lbs
Viktor Ekbom 6'2" 194lbs

and their only free agent signing to date.

Mike Rupp 6'5" 230lbs

Those guys probably carry some big sticks.

I'm guessing Shero looked at his organization and realized that not only is 13 feet of defensive awesomeness probably leaving this offesason, but our core of defenders include 5'11" Alex Goligoski, 5'11" Kris Letang, and 6'2" Brooks Orpik. Plus, outside of Malkin and Stall, all our probable long term offensive players are 6 feet or shorter (Crosby, Kunitz, Talbot, Kennedy and even Cooke if you keep him around.)

It's true that Caputi, Tangradi, and Dustin Jeffrey are all 6'3", but you never know who's going to pan out and who isn't. And power forwards are an elusive bunch. The Penguins learned this season what happens when you sacrifice size and grit, you become a much easier team to play against. And they learned how much those attributes can benefit a team in a 7 game series.

Shero has watched how teams have become successful in the salary cap era, and now that he's won the cup his sole goal is to keep the Penguins near the top of the league. He had a plan going into the draft and it was based on what he witnessed play out this season. I'll tell you one thing about Ray Shero the man learns fast. Crosby and Malkin aren't the only Penguins getting better every season.

On to the Pens free agency review so far.


Penguins sign Forward Mike Rupp to a 2-year $1.65 million contract.




This was a head scratcher. At first he appears to be a more talented Eric Godard, who we signed because he was a more talented and cheaper George Laraque. However, it seems that Godard, and perhaps Dupuis are on the trading block in an effort to cut salary. If this is the case it starts to look like a great move as Rupp can take faceoffs, always good to have an extra guy for that, kills penalties, which is Dupuis biggest strength on the team, and can be used as an enforcer as well. Calculated risk by Shero that he can move Dupuis/Godard and flip that into keeping Scuds or Feds. And I'm always cool with taking a guy willing to kick a Bruin in the head.
Grade: B, pending outcome of further moves.

Los Angeles Kings Sign Defenseman Rob Scuderi to 4 years 13.5 million

You win the Stanley Cup, all of a sudden everyone wants a Piece. Now the Kings have one. You know it's really a shame. I wrote earlier about how during the preseason I thought we could have kept him for somewhere in the range of 4 years, $7.5 million. God wouldn't that look like a fantastic deal now. The really shameful thing is that I have heard nothing but good things about this guy. I'm glad he's going to LA and not anywhere else floating around the rumor mill. LA is a very good young team and in 2-3 years with the right moves they will be on top of the West. Hopefully Scuds is a part of that. Even though they overpaid for him a but it shouldn't hurt them. The fact that he has already seen the learning curve that team is going to go through should be worth the extra cash. Good luck sir.
Grade: B+, The Piece A+.


-the legend

Mind-bottling. You know, when things are so crazy it gets your thoughts all trapped, like in a bottle?

The first 24 hours of Free Agency have officially passed, and some of the moves can only be described as mind-bottling. We'll look at the Top 5 moves. Later today we'll have our thoughts on the Pens.

Hossa signs 12 year, $62.5 million contract with Blackhawks

So many things to talk about here, but I'll stick to the most pressing. I think it's a good move for both sides, but Chicago's books are going to look worse than California's in a couple of years. The NHL is moving closer to the NBA in that contracts are going to be worth as much as players, and that makes me sad. I'd trade Campbell for anything, just to get his salary of the books. Also, I feel like these contracts are going to need to be addressed by the NHL because we're not far away from someone actually siging a 20+ year contract just to keep the cap hit down. The contract averages more than $5 million a year, but he only makes $3.5 million TOTAL over the last four years.
Grade: B+, good effort but at what expense?

Montreal signs Mike Cammallieri, Brian Gionta, Jaroslav Spacek, and Hal Gill.

Wow. And I was on record for liking the Gomez deal. I think they overpaid Gionta, Cammallieri and Spacek, but I could see it working out. Spacek's signing looks a lot better if they can find a sucker to take Hamrlik. I like bringing Gionta and Gomez back together, and it could pay off huge divdends for them. But I don't think Cammallieri is the right fit for them, and for $6 million a year they can't make a mistake with him. People are crying about Gill's price but he adds size, and he's worth $2 million a year for two years, so $2.25 million ain't much of a reach. The truth is no one know how this will play out. They got tougher up front, and I think they targeted players specifically for their system, not just names.
Grades: Cammallieri C+, too expensive. Gionta B+, especially if he can return to form with Gomez. Spacek B-, getting up there in years too. Gill B, rarely hurts to add size to your line-up.
Overall Grade: B, was going to be a B-, but I'm including Gomez in this, and despite his salary I think he's going to look good in a Canadiens jersey.

New York Rangers Sign Marian Gaborik to 5-years $37.5 million

I don't get it. The Rangers are being trashed by fans and bloggers for this signing. You're telling me you wouldn't trade Scott Gomez for Marian Gaborik, straight up? Well the Rangers also got Christopher Higgens in the deal, a guy who averages more than 20 goals a season. That's more than Gomez had this year. Martin Havlat signed for 6 years $30 million. He's just as frail as Gabo, but you never hear about it because HE'S NOT AS GOOD AS GABORIK IS. Obviously everyone's biggest fear is that Gaborik is just going to fall apart, and I'm hesitant to love this deal because Glen Sather signed the check, but selfishly I get to watch Gaborik eight times this year. Ok four times assuming he plays half his teams games.
Grade: A-, as an individual signing it's kind of crazy, but I think this and the Gomez move makes them better.

Tampa Bay signs Mattias Ohlund to a 7-year $25.5 million contract

The first FA off the board. Tampa Bay found an UFA that has never played for Pittsburgh. Shock City. I'll admit my first instincts were to laugh at the $25 million. But upon further investigation I'm starting to like the deal. Tampa Bay struggled with defense last year, heck they struggled with everything last year. But with Ohlund, 2nd overall pick Victor Hedman, and the re-signing of RFA Lukas Krajicek, their defense will be much improved this year. Do you know how many players they paid last year? 50, and 19 of them were defensmen. There moves this offseason, including signing UFA Matt Walker, should go a long way towards stablizing one of their biggest weaknesses.

Washington Capitals sign Mike Knuble to 2-year $5.6 million deal

Damn. Damn. Double Dog Damn. It's not so much that I thought the Pens would sign him, or even should, though I'll admit if we could have gotten him for less than $2.5 mil/year I'd of taken him. It's that it's such a damn good move for Washington. He adds grit to a team that didn't have much. He brings 25 goals a year to a team that needed another scorer when Semin and Green disappeared. He's a veteran going to a team that lost Federov this off-season to Europe. Damn. Damn. Damn is he going to fit in well there. He's going to score 30 goals this year. If the Caps can get a solid defensive d-man there's going to be hell to pay in the playoffs next year.
Grade: A, Damn.

Oh wait, that's right...Pens are still the defending Stanley Cup Champions.

Keep the faith.


-the legend

I can give you half

So 12pm hits. Ruslan Fedotenko and Rob Scuderi sign with Tampa Bay. Where do the Penguins turn?

The first name on everyone's list appears to be Mike Knuble. The vet made 2.8 million last year while putting up 27 goals and 47 points. I wouldn't mind signing him but I think younger cheaper options can be found. I'd rather not have two of our top wingers be 38 years old.

The first name on my list is Jason Williams from the Columbus Blue Jackets. He's 28 years old, made 2.2 million last year and has averaged .6 ppg over the last four years, which roughly translates to about 20G and 30A over a full season. Put him on Malkin's wing and he's going to be 25 and 40. He doesn't have the grit Fedotenko has but he'd be a good replacement.

Ales Kotalik has slightly better numbers than Williams, and he's 6'2", but I also expect him to command a higher salary. He's more of a high profile free agent than Williams, and I don't see much of a chance we sign him, although it would be a solid pick-up

This is about the point where you start reaching for UFA's. I like Taylor Pyatt from the Canucks, he's 27, 6'4", has put up some decent numbers in the past including a 20 goal season, and he's from Thunder Bay, Ontario might he look good on the wing of another 6'4" Thunder Bay born guy? He just might.

Kyle Calder, put up good numbers 3 or 4 years ago, but he's smaller and more recently he seems to be a perennial minus. That not be much of an issue if he played with Malkin, but I'm not sure if his play has dropped off.


and the defensemen. One of the important things for me when I searched for potential replacements for Scuderi.

Francois Beauchemin, is on more than just the Pens wish list. I doubt he signs here, but man he'd look good as a replacement for Scuds.

Dimitri Kalinin is second on my list. He's 6'3" and 28 years old and just might be out of our price range. However, he's got the best puck skills of the D on my radar and would fit in best with the Penguins style of play.

Marek Malik is this high on my list because he's 6'6", and the Pens aren't just losing Rob Scuderi but 6'7" Hal Gill as well. Plus he could probably be signed for less than 2 million and short term. He might not be the best player available, but he might end up being the best fit.

Paul Mara: I don't think he's the right fit, I think he has major problems defensively, but he's 6'4" he made 2 million last year, he's only 29, he can move the puck relatively well. I think worse moves can be made and for the right price he would add some good size to the back end.

Dennis Seidenberg is an intriguing FA. He's the youngest of the bunch at 27 and made only 1.2 million last year, so he's probably looking for a raise. But he put up some good numbers for Carolina last year. At 6' he doesn't have the size I was hoping for and he doesn't have a great plus/minus, but if there's not a lot of interest in him he might be a good middle of the road signing.

and finally Christian Backman. I saved him for last because at 3.4 million, his salary was the highest of anyone I thought we might go after. Everything else about him is great though. He's a solid defensive defenseman. He's only 29 years old, he's got the size at 6'3", unfortunately I just don't see him taking a pay cut to join our team.


Well those are my thoughts. Over the next couple of days we'll see whether they prove true, or whether I end up looking like an idiot. Either way I'm chalking it up as a win because we still hold the Cup.

-the legend

I'll Sign Anything You Want Me to Just Get Her Away From Me.

So much to talk about so little time.

We'll start with the Pens.

Mathieu Garon
Phillipe Boucher
Miroslav Satan
Hal Gill

All UFA's
All gone

Although I wouldn't mind Gill or Satan at significant pay cuts if our other FA's don't sign.

Chris Minard
Connor James
Janne Pesonen
Jeff Taffe
Bill Thomas

Who? Exactly

Paul Bissonnette
Ben Lovejoy
John Curry

All RFA's, all probably coming back

Which leaves us with the Hotlist as far as I'm concerned

Ruslan Fedotenko
Petr Sykora
Mike Zigomanis
and Rob Scuderi

Mike Zigomanis

Probably gone, this is pretty much a depth pipe dream for me. The guy won 65% of his faceoffs last year. I'd sign him in a heartbeat if you can get him around the veteran minimum, but maybe that's not possible. Count on him leaving, but remember that I said keep him.

Petr Sykora

I was ready for him to leave. I was. But then I started thinking about what was out there. And how much he did for us in two years. And how he was still relatively young. And how he was probably hurt at the end of the year. And that image of him talking to Flower in Game 5. And what was out there. And that he would probably take a pay cut to remain with the team. He's not our best option, but similar to how we took a risk when we first signed him, maybe we do it again for cheaper. If he returns to form this year we maximize our investment and he can get a decent payday next year. If Feds leaves and there's nothing else out there we bring him back. Speaking of...

Ruslan Fedotenko

Good riddance. Let the man get paid. There's a lot of good about him and he certainly was a big part of the cup win, but don't sign him to a multi-year contract that you know he deserves. Much like young love, let him go, if he comes back it was meant to be, if not we move on to some dude from Columbus.

and finally "The Piece"

Rob Scuderi

How you let a man with those thighs walk, I'll never know. But I think you have to. It's sad because before this season started I thought we could resign him for 3 or 4 years at between 1.5 and 2 million per. And then he went out and made a name for himself. The biggest problem is we can't do for him what we did for Orpik, give him more years to make up for that paycut, because we don't want a 35 year old Rob Scuderi taking up cap space, at least I don't. This isn't NHL '09, you have to let some people go for cap reasons and I think given our depth at the position, Gogo, Lovejoy, Sneep, and a host of other draft picks you let him leave and sign a cheaper, short-term replacement.


Next Up Who we will target on the open market.

-the legend

Boy, that escalated quickly... I mean, that really got out of hand fast.

Well that was a train wreck of a show.

No worries there's always next week.

A big thank you to everyone that tuned in.

Clips from the show will follow in the next few days, but more importantly you need to watch this video.



-the legend

If You're Not First You're Last

And Then There Was One.

The Penguins have played 105 games this year.

Almost 6500 minutes.

They've dealt with free agent losses, injuries, trades, and a coaching change.
And the memory of losing in the Stanley Cup Finals last year.

And it all comes down to this.

One game.

60 minutes.

Less than 1% of the season.

And then the rest of their lives.



This city has never experienced anything like tonight.

We've won two Super Bowls in the last decade, but football is always a one and done.

We've won two Stanley Cups in the last twenty years. But they were in six and four games. Not seven.

The last time a road team won a Game 7 in the Finals was 1979 when the Pirates defeated the Orioles. But baseball is not hockey. And in terms of intensity the World Series is nothing compared to the Stanley Cup Finals.

Pittsburgh has never seen a sporting event like this.



The Pens are being counted out in a lot of circles. Even "experts" that thought they would win Game 6 are migrating to the Red Wings camp.

The popular opinion is that home ice, experience and Osgood are going to make the difference for Detroit. You've heard all the stats:

- Only twice in fourteen chances has a road team won Game 7 in the Stanley Cup Finals.

- The Pens have been outscored 11-2 at Joe Louis Arena in the Finals.

- Detroit is 5-1 at home against the Pens in the Finals the last two seasons.

I'm here to tell you, you can throw it all out the window.

Because when this is on the line in a winner take all Game 7



anything can happen.

One shift

One shot

One bounce

Could spell the difference between victory and defeat.

An entire season could come down to one moment.

And one play could be responsible for crowning a new champion.


Enjoy it Pittsburgh.

60 wins.

1 more to go.

Keep the Faith because It's a Great Day for Hockey.


-the legend

I Think I've Lost My Penis

It all comes down to tonight.




The screen may be gone, but the spirit that made it so incredible is not.

17, 132

That's how many fans will be screaming their head off in the arena. And the Penguins are going to need every one of them.

But that's nothing compared to the thousands, perhaps hundreds of thousands more, in their homes, in bars, not just in the city of Pittsburgh but across the country. Living and dying with every hit, every shot, every save. Every second that ticks off that clock is one second closer to Game 7.

One game.

One win away from do or die. From anything can happen. One win from having the Cup in our grasp.

Last year they were spent. They had nothing left. They made their last stand in Detroit and surrendered on home ice.

Not this year.

This year it's going seven.

59 wins so far this year. 2 more for the Cup.

I'll see you in Detroit.

Keep the Faith.

-the legend

I Wonder What Eagle Cornea Tastes Like

And just like that 7 became 3. The race to 4 became a sprint to 2.

Tonight the Pens head back to Detroit with the chance to take a strangle hold on the Stanley Cup Finals. Fans have a lot of confidence in the Pens right now, and they should, but it’s not time to get cocky yet.

Datsyuk is coming back and while I think his contributions have been overhyped by the media, he’s a wildcard and just might give the Red Wings a big mental boost.

Hossa has yet to make his mark on these finals. Franzen has been a non-factor. Both have the possibility of single handedly winning a game for the Wings.

They are 10-1 at home. And they’ve already been in this position earlier in the playoffs with Anaheim. Make no mistake they will be playing for their lives in this game.

But then again they were supposed to be playing for their lives in Game 4. And Pittsburgh still won. If you listened to the experts Thursday night was supposed to be their best against our best and WE came out on top.

The Penguins know what to expect now. There are no more surprises hiding in waiting for them. They’ve been through every scenario in a playoff series in the last two years and they’re going to have to dig deep to win this one. But they know it.

They HAD to win Game 3. They did. They HAD to win Game 4. They did. Now they have to win Game 5, because you do not want to give Detroit a second wind. Not with two days off before Game 6. Not with another two before Game 7.

The Pens know what a monumental task it would be to win Game 7 in Detroit. They know they have the Wings up against the ropes. They smell blood. Lord Stanley’s Cup WILL be in Pittsburgh Tuesday night and the Pens want the chance to raise it.

Now’s the time to go for the kill.

-the legend

Liza Minelli is a Communist

I turned into Sportscenter this afternoon and stuck around through their neverending Lebron James coverage (OMG he didn't shake the Magic's hands and I heard that Dwight Howard took him off his five and is no longer following him on twitter) because next up was the recap of Sunday Night's Stanley Cup Final game. Big mistake. After suffering through that train wreck, and shortly after vomiting, multiple times, I reached this conclusion: I don’t want mainstream coverage of the NHL. Take it off ESPN. No PTI. No Around the Horn. No Sportscenter. Unless Buccigross, Melrose, or Linda Cohn are speaking I’m done with it.

I’ll admit every day during the Caps-Pens series I eagerly awaited 5 o’clock to roll around so I could see our wonderful sport presented to the masses. However, after being forced to watch Michael Wilbon, Woody Paige, and Skip Bayliss butcher what is otherwise frozen I don’t want it anymore. They don’t know the sport, they don’t know the players, they don’t understand the rules.

According to Robert Flores, FILLPula, scored Detroits second goal and and the reason Malkin is going to play in Game 3 is because the NHL thinks he is too good of a player to be suspended. He ignored the fact that they had already rescinded a suspension to Aaron Walker earlier in the playoffs, and they failed to suspend Ovechkin, Cooke, Kunitz, and others who have committed questionable fouls this postseason. Not to mention the aspect of the rule that addresses a second offense in the playoffs, not a first, as well as Colin Campbell’s press release. I’m sick of watching idiots blubber their way through what I’m assuming is mandatory coverage. And nothing is worse than PTI.

The thing that hurts the most is that quite frankly ESPN should be embarrassed that its flagship show, other than Sportscenter of course, employs two people who as PROFESSIONAL sports writers, who are employed by newspapers based in cities that HAVE A NATIONAL HOCKEY LEAGUE TEAM know less about hockey than I, an above average sports fan who hates the NBA and has never seen a game live, know about professional basketball. But they aren’t embarrassed because hockey matters that little to them.

If that’s going to be the case I say as fans we embrace it. Fuck ‘em. We’re not going to become more popular by watering down the sport to appease the average fan and we’re certainly not going to do so by having people like Wilbon and Kornheiser introduce it to them. That’s like sending Joan Rivers and Perez Hilton to other countries as ambassadors. Sure they might be knowledgeable in their respective fields, award show fashion and plastic surgery for Joan, trashing celebrities and blowing dudes for Perez, but that doesn’t mean they should be the ones that explain the US to the rest of the world (btw I’m pretty sure Kornheiser would be Joan Rivers and Wilbon would be Perez which I guess means Tony Reali would be Melissa).

What we should do is embrace the nicheness of the sport, at least for now. Stick with cable television and let hockey be covered by people who know the sport. Fix the NHL network up, make it a 24 hour coverage thing and start producing analysts that can infiltrate ESPN. Perfect the product on the ice. Then once the market’s ready go public. It worked for Mixed Martial Arts and now the UFC is huge. The only difference is in our sport we take the gloves off before we fight.

-the legend