So I let The Law pick which team he wanted to represent, he chose Team Lidstrom because according to him “Staal’s team sucked”. Whatever.
With all the rumor’s going around about Staal’s first overall pick that made my choice easy.
Staal’s Pick: Cam Ward
Lidstrom: “Wow Legend, goalie first overall, do you want that pick back?”
Staal: Easy there, big boy. We all know that’s who Staal is drafting first overall, well anyone that actually pays attention to the league at least.
Lidstrom: “Is that a dig at me? I’m sorry I’m in law school and not unemployed, I don’t have time to prepare for our fake mock draft of an exhibition draft by reading various mock drafts of a fake draft. I’m taking Stamkos for marty because he told me he’d cry if I didn’t”
Lidstrom’s Pick: Steven Stamkos
Staal: You do realize they don’t have Power Plays in All-Star games right? I’m confused is you’re goal to draft the smallest team in All Star history? I’m making my first Skills competition pick. He’s not having a great year, but he’s the reigning breakaway champion and Mike Green’s gal pal
Staal’s Pick: Alex Ovechkin
I bet that's not the first time he's done that for Malkin
Lidstrom’s Pick:Jonathan Towes
Lidstrom: “I’m drafting centers, since I’m starting with two wingers, and pretty good ones at that.”
Staal: Well I’m drafting the best players out there, and I don’t know how this guy has fallen this far, but I’m taking
Staal’s Pick: Daniel Sedin
Staal: and I’ll put him with Kesler since I’m sure you’re going to take
Lidstrom’s Pick: Patrick Sharp
Staal: WHAT! Patrick Sharp! You have a chance to split up the Sedin Twins for the first time since the womb, and you take Patrick Fricken’ Sharp.
Ok seriously Pat. Sidebar.
(Legend: You are supposed to be drafting as Nicklas Lidstrom. You’ve drafted two Chicago Blackhawks and have a third on your team as a captain, dude at least play along.
Law: “I play for keeps”.
Legend: I hate you)
Staal: Fine I’m not letting you get away with that one. I’m taking
Staal’s Pick: Henrik Sedin
Staal: And I’m going to kill you with my Vancuver wizardry.
Lidstrom: “man back-to-back. You hit the Swedes harder than Tiger Woods. I’ll take the Flower”
Lidstrom’s Pick: Marc-Andre Fleury
Lidstrom: “He’s a starter, and the only Stanley Cup champion in goal out there”
Staal: On that note I’m going to crack the defenseman seal and get
Staal’s Pick: Dustin Byfuglien
Staal: I only wish that his partner from the Thrashers was…
Lidstrom: “SCREW YOU”
Staal: going to be there as well. Oops, did you want him? My bad.
Lidstrom’s Pick: Tim Thomas
Staal: That’s a nice pick. He’ll be fun during the skills competition, I hope they mic him up.
Staal’s Pick: Kris Letang
Staal: I’m going big or going home with offensive defenseman. Although Tanger can play in his own end, all three of my D so far are practically forwards.
Lidstrom: “yeah, yeah. Before you snap up all those guys I’ll take the one left on the board that plays that way”
Lidstrom’s Pick: Dan Boyle
Staal: Nice pick-up. I probably should have taken him before Letang, but I was thinking about the Elimination Shoot-out with Kris. And with his skating he might just excel in an exhibition game. Since we’re on a defensive kick I’m going to go with the guy that has been a big part of the defensive success for the Rangers this year (looks directly at Marc Staal)…
Staal’s Pick: Henrik Lundquist.
Lidstrom: “That was cold dude”
Staal: Had to be done.
Lidstrom’s Pick: Brent Burns
Staal: I’m sorry who?
Lidstrom: “What do you meant who? He’s one of the top scoring defensemen in the league.”
Staal: It’s the All-Star Game. They’re ALL among the top scoring defensemen in the league.
Lidstrom: “Whatever, I’m looking for studs”
(Legend: Yeah I bet that’s what they called you in high school, before you became The Law. Pat “the stud finder” Corcoran)
Pat "the stud finder" Corcoran's first find
Staal’s Pick: Claude Giroux
Staal: He’s having a monster year, and I feel like he’s the type that might just snipe 2 or 3 without even thinking about it.
Lidstrom: “Speaking of good years, I don’t know how he’s fallen this far but I’ll take
Lidstrom’s Pick: Brad Richards
Staal: We have to take our goalie by the 10th round and I have a strategy here. I’m taking the one who probably has had the best season of any goalie so far.
Staal’s Pick: Carey Price
Lidstrom: “speaking of studs”
Staal: He is quite a pretty man
Lidstrom: “I was talking about him taking it in…”
Staal: Alright then, remember this is a family blog just make you’re pick
Lidstrom: “In the spirit of people taking it from behind I’ll take”
Lidstrom’s Pick: Daniel Briere
Staal: …from behind
Lidstrom: “ha…ha”
Staal: That leaves me to draft the guy I had my eye on in this round
Staal’s Pick: Corey Perry
Staal: Who will inevitably score on…
Lidstrom’s Pick: Jonas Hiller
Lidstrom: “Oh you’re funny”
Staal: Thank you, thank you, I’ll be here all week. Alright, I’m going to actually need some defensemen that play defense on my team though, so I’m going to take
Staal’s Pick: Zdeno Chara
Lidstrom: “I can’t believe he’s fallen this far but I’m taking”
Lidstrom’s Pick: Keith Yandle
(Legend: He’s fallen that far The Law because he was added to the team yesterday, but then again you’re just mopping up all the injury replacements aren’t you?)
Staal: I got an easy pick here. I’m wrapping up the Slap Shot competition this year by taking
Staal’s Pick: Shea Weber
Lidstrom: “yeah with Chara and Weber, I might as well not even put anyone out there”
Staal: Not without a lot of protection I wouldn’t
Lidstrom’s Pick: Anze Kopitar
Staal: That leave me with one of two players I want, and I gotta go with the one that never should have fallen this far and is built for an open ice game
Staal’s Pick: Matt Duchene
Lidstrom: “Not a bad choice, for me to poop on”
Staal: Well that’s just uncalled for
Lidstrom: “I’m going to finish off my raping of the Chicago Blackhawks by drafting
Staal: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Lidstrom’s Pick: Duncan Keith
Staal: Sidebar
(whisperwhisperwhisper)
Staal: Shucks, oh…well…I guess…I’ll…just…have…to…draft…my…brother…marc…then.
Staal’s Pick: Marc Staal
Staal: Hey Pat, what do you think about a trade?
Lidstrom: “A trade?”
Staal: A trade.
Lidstrom: “What were you thinking for a trade?”
Staal: A trade.
Lidstrom: “A trade?”
Staal: How about Claude Giroux and Marc Staal for Daniel Briere and Duncan Keith?
Lidstrom: “Sounds good to me”
(Marc Staal, not even having reached the stage yet stands there stunned)
Staal: Done. (shrugs shoulders at brother)
(in game break)
Trade review
So what were your thoughts about that trade?
Staal: Well, frankly I wanted Duncan Keith, and I wasn’t so
interested in either of the last two defensemen on the board.
I thought Pat should get a Swede on Lidstrom’s team, even
though he seemed to have an unhealthy aversion to them.
And anytime I could hurt my brother, while at the same
time messing with two Flyers, I figured why the heck not?
Lidstrom: “I admit my love affair with CHI guys was getting
a little bit ridiculous, plus I realized why not let
Keith knock one of them out during the game.”
(back to the draft)
Lidstrom’s Pick: Martin Havlat
Staal: Seriously man, when you’re not drafting Blackhawks players, you’re drafting former Blackhawk players. I’m surprised you didn’t try drafting Cristobal Huet.
Lidstrom: “I would of, but I wasn’t sure how the transfer agreement with Fribourg-Gotteron worked”
Staal: I hate you. I’m taking the last “I can’t believe he fell this far guy”
Staal’s Pick: Rick Nash
Lidstrom: “I will take Loui Ericksson”
Staal: Dude you have to draft Karlsson, it’s the 15th round
Lidstrom: “I don’t want Karlsson he’s like -17”
Staal: He’s the last defenseman, you have to take him, and besides he’s Swedish, you’re Swedish, Lidstrom is going to have some Swedish players on his team.
Lidstrom’s Pick: Erik Karlsson
Staal: I’ll be nice and leave Erickson for you…
Lidstrom: “I am not Swedish…”
Staal: …because I can’t leave my boy hanging any longer…
Lidstrom: “…I have never been nor will I be Swedish…”
The Staal’s Pick: Jeff Skinner
Lidstrom: “…or be with a swede”
Staal: Ok then.
Lidstrom: “…mmmm.... swedish fish”
Lidstrom’s Pick: Loui Ericksson
Staal’s Pick: David Backes
Lidstrom: “Ass. I wanted him, oh well that just leaves me with two to pick from. Pretty much a toss up here, I’ll take
Lidstrom’s Pick: Patrick Elias
Lidstrom: “Man you know what I should have said before instead of the Tiger joke…Hey man what is Jasper Parnevik picking your team?”
Staal: Is he dead? Cause that’s not funny dude.
Lidstrom: “You’re thinking of Payne Stewart”
Staal: I meant Elias.
Lidstrom: “ouch”
God, why couldn't you have taken him instead?
Staal: Alright that leaves me with Phil Kessel. Wait, that’s not enough players. (as of our mock draft the NHL had not yet named the last injury replacement player for the game) Screw it I’m gonna draft…
Staal’s Pick: ________
over…
Lidstrom’s Pick: Phil Kessel
Lidstrom: “You can’t do that”
Staal: Just did. Enjoy your Maple Leaf, I’m taking nothing over him. Talk about Mr. Irrelevant.
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