WE'RE BAAAAACK

So I can’t even begin to tell you how excited I am for the NHL All-Star Game Fantasy Draft.

This would be my face the whole time if I was at the Draft.

Screw the game, the draft Friday night is going to be the main event.

There are already theories abound about the draft. Will Eric Staal intentionally not draft his brother just to make him sit there and stew? Are the captains going to draft their teammates? Countrymen? Friends? Are they going to pass over rivals? Are they going to try to snipe the players they know the other guy wants to draft?

There’s even talk of a collusion strategy where some of the highest scoring players don’t get drafted until the late rounds, because as some put it “they probably never got picked last in anything." You couldn't make that up.

I’m not going to pretend to know what’s going to happen at the draft, but I assure you something fun will.

For my glorious return to the blog I figured a two-part post was best. Up first are the odds for what I think might happen at the All-Star Draft on Friday. Part II is The Legend and The Law mock draft for Friday night, which I will post on Friday morning.

Betting odds on 2011 NHL ALL-STAR DRAFT

(remember all listed odds are for entertainment purposes only, gambling is not only illegal but really, really hard.)

1:2 Eric Staal does something to embarrass his brother

2:1 The Sedin twins switch places or fake being the other one if they get drafted separately

1:1 Someone gets drafted without the use of their name. i.e. “we’ll take the tall guy in the back”

10:1 Someone is traded during the draft for an inanimate object, such as equipment or food

500:1 Stone Cold Steve Austin’s intro music blasts halfway through the draft and Sidney Crosby comes tearing down the stage grabs the mic and screams “You jibroni’s didn’t think a little concussion was going to keep me out of the draft did you? Well I’m in the draft now, because Sid the Kid Said So!”

I would literally kill to see this

1:2 Then Max Talbot throws him two beers which Sid will crack on stage.

100:1 Jeremy Roenick shows up wearing a feather boa and announces his inclusion in the draft. “woooo”

150:1 Gary Bettman shows up in Paul Bearer make-up and announces that Kesler and Green turn heel on Eric Staal and join Team Lidstrom.

Which do you like better Paul Bettman or Gary Bearer?

(man these predictions really took a WWE turn somewhere in there)

+/-2.5 The number of references during the draft to all the players sticks being thrown into a pile and picking teams that way.

3:1 The odds that none of these things happen and I end up crying myself to sleep after getting trashed watching the draft because the NHL came up with a brilliant idea right on the heels of their good exposure during 24/7 and then failed to capitalize on it.